Interrupted

Why?

If God exists then why would he/she want us to suffer?

It makes no sense

It’s cruel

And unfair

And I hate this so called God

Or whoever

Whatever

Is in charge

Of taking

Away

The things ( that aren’t just things)

I love

If there is a God…

Why would you do this?

You have completely destroyed my heart.

The sound of silence

I understand you.

Your silence speaks volumes

The ghost of you haunts me

and it will not go away

I don’t agree with everything you did to me

Or how you thought about me

But I was good to you

And loved you

More than I’ve ever loved anyone

And you treat me like a stranger

So you got what you wanted

You left me

Forever

Incomplete

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so this is how the story ends

no words to say
to song to sing
this is the sorrow
this mourning brings
the start of your week
is the end of my day
nothing really matters
to me anyway.
i was happy
when i made you happy
but now the ideas you make up in your head
make you sad
at me
make you mad
at me
and i will never be
who you want
me to be
i will never feel
your sunshine again
but i will always know
this darkness
that you left me in
on this day
today
that you went away
and made me have to go.
this kind of love
this kind of life
i already know
so well—
so long
so many times
i guess it was me
who was wrong
all along
i don’t fit
in this world
i can’t sit
i don’t have my place
so i quit
this shit
and burn
any trace
of me
you will never see
my face
or my smile
and after a while
you’ll forget that too
this is my goodbye
to you

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
sadness and mourning. saying goodbye
Photo by Trinity Kubassek on Pexels.com
“Suicide Fever” by AA, 1981

Chris

Now that you’re gone

I have no one by my side

To help me through

That person was always you

Now i feel the loneliness

Of being truly alone

You were the greatest friend

I have ever known

That this world has ever shown

I’m not alright

I’m not okay

Just take me back

To a better day

You were always there for me

And I’m so grateful for that

And for you

Until we meet again

I love you…

My sweet friend

Beso

Every kiss

That I miss

He does not

Miss at all

He built his wall

Between us

He does not call

He does not care

To have me there

With him

He doesn’t love me

Anymore

He shut the door

On me

If he could only see

Things from inside of my heart

But what’s the point?

He lied

He cheated

He treated me

Like shit

Worse than shit

Like nothing

Everyone else saw it

I held on to the good

That was just a lie

That’s why

I don’t even try

He’s a lost cause

It’s pointless now

To hold on to something

Or someone

Who cared so little

When I cared so much.

artwork by kyoko cole

My one wish

If I ever had a connection with anyone

Right now is the time to feel me

I can’t speak the words

I can’t move

I can’t go to you

I need you to feel me

And do something

Or not

Maybe that’s the way it needs to be

But if that’s the case

Then nothing means anything

And everything means nothing

And I’ll go to sleep alone

Just like I’ll die alone

And it all was a waste of time

Releasing Emotional Patterns with Essential Oils (2017 Edition): 2017 Edition

Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse: Shattering the Illusion

Life Skills: How to Do Almost Anything

Not my Captain

under cover tears
and under cover fears
steers

the ship
without help

from me or you

under a moonless darkness
of questions

My heart weeps

while
your other lover sleeps
She rests without worry
without wonder

Without thought
As she takes
your heart and soul for a walk
in the streets of longing i seek
the things you shall never speak
not to me

ever
and never
when
i needed you to

an enigma is not that great
When it’s an empty full of hate
it has no soul
and has no control

but i’m not the one
who’s got you trapped
down in a hole
and calls it child support
but yet I am the one
who you abort
cause you’re old
cause you’re cold

the last sentence you saw
makes people shiver
the last sentence you saw
is running away
to a better day
a more passionate evening
stole all the goods

i have a trained assassin stay overnight
just in case
i’m caught up in a fight
i didn’t start
but i WILL end
when i send in
my ninja friend
to break
some knees
please
let the HEARTBREAKING lies
roll over us
like the warm summer breeze.
abstraction is often FIVE floorS above you
while
subtraction is a hundred floors below
that is something
you see in others
but in yourself
will never know

I don’t even try

Morning sun slips in

Through the blacks of My eyes

A second away from night

A moment away from sight

And many moons and days away from you

Feels like years now since we were we

I know you’ve moved on to worse things that make you feel better

At least for now

And I just move around in beds and in heads of others

To distract

I might seem okay to everyone else but it’s all just an act

A sad little act that maybe I’ll someday actually be

But the real me

Is a sad sight to see

inside I am empty

lonely

And lost

without you.

And there’s nothing I can do

Cause there’s no reason to

You gave me nothing

A million times left with no reply

Now nothing is all I got left

To give

So I don’t even try

In rooms alone it still makes me cry

I know the reason why

so i don’t even try

-kyoko cole 2018

To be ignored

to be ignored

By the person you truly love

Is the worst feeling in the world.

shame
artwork by kyoko cole 2017

When I die

When I Die

Lush

LYRICS

If you walked in now

I wouldn’t start I wouldn’t frown

And if you just appeared

I wouldn’t cry or think it weird

‘Cause you are still around

You’re in the air, you’re in the ground

And you can’t go away

I am afraid you’re here to stay

Friends don’t understand

They close the door, they raise their hands

She says she heard your voice

Of course she does, she has no choice

I was hours ahead

When they removed you from your bed

They drank all the while

Until you said goodbye

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

I don’t look up, I don’t look down

I look ahead and make no sound

My love was there,

I only stare

Healty in my dreams

Is what you are, is what is seems

What does it all mean?

You’re only hiding behind a screen

Curse the English day

For what it forces us to say

Banish all the pain

‘Cause when I die, die

I’ll see you again.

Songwriters: Emma Victoria Jane Anderson

When I Die lyrics © BMG Rights Management US, LLC

Low vibe mister

Avoid

Avoid

A void

Is all you

It’s all you do

Anything that takes some work

makes you take off

sets you off

You have something to prove

The way you move

Shows an anger

That has built

Over time

the way you deal

Is by not dealing at all

one question leads you to war

there’s no way to even the score

With a narcissist like you

you can’t forgive

You can’t give love

You don’t have

You build up a false self

while the real you hides somewhere

collecting dust on a shelf

and it sucks being somebody who loves you

Cause you can’t change

If you think you’re perfect