b-side junkie

You

You don’t care about love.

And you don’t care about me.

You try to protect yourself so much from getting hurt that you end up not really living.

It’s death

And I can’t live like that.

I won’t.

The city

walk around aimlessly at night.

I wonder what you were like as a child.

Before they fucked with you.

I bet you were wonderful and beautiful.

I write to express myself.
I write to create.
I write to discover.
I write because I can’t NOT do it.
I write because I enjoy writing.
I write to share a little bit about myself and to learn a lot about myself.
I write cause I’m inspired.
I write to inspire.
I write for me.
I write for you.
I write to feel better.
I write to purge.
I write to love.
I write because I love.
I write because I hate.
I write for all the times I could not speak.
I write to reflect. I write to relate.
I write to release.
I write to recognize.
I write to recharge.
I write to record.
I write to refrain.
I write to repair.
I write to return.
I write to revolt.
I write to revolve.
I write to remember. I write to forget. .
I write because it makes the loneliness feel less lonely.
I write because I learn from writing.
I write because it’s what keeps me from pulling the trigger too quickly.
I write because I want to write…
because I need to write and because I love to write.

why do you write?

Stupid

That’s all.

Lol

Sunday night 9:00pm

I am not the enemy

from his glass

you wine (whine)

beautiful leaning she carved

a knife into a tree

under the sea

pleasantly

enough

The fall of it all

the child ends

with a bright idea

no more.

stupid trades

such as today

all hell broke loose

red lips

ugly smoke

finds the face

a sudden kiss

under the stars

everything seemed

forever

I wanted to shake

a thousand

good wishes

like the leaves

of autumn

off a tree

that fall

like a tombstone

internal

external

flowers tarnished

gold

lace

of wonder

I have reason to run

just whisper

light

shine through me

i hope you like

the truth

I do not want this.

you introduce

a fear

that is

mysteriously you.

my eyes

have entered

the fields of death.

i can not wait

to forget you.

you always question

but never listen

without

some kind of

doubt

or judgement.

these words

someday

I will

no longer speak.

failures we make

from this

all sides

so far away

time must dig our graves

one by one

we fall

just to try again

while bleeding

this movement

of nature

I am

nothing

alone

in the catch

caught

in the in-between

The beauty of it all

Is right in front of your eyes

And it’s pure love

I respect myself

I do.

Today will never happen again

I love myself and whatever you don’t give me (don’t want to) is fine

And all the crap you put me through. You don’t have to see but I know it’s not just me.

You do a lot that isn’t very nice

You cause a lot of hurt too and never own up to it.

How do we start a new when you still allow all that other Bullshit with girls and shit in your life.

At least I have the decency to tell guys that try to get with me that I’m seeing someone I care about very much and in order for it to work I have to try and it’s not appropriate to call me or send me any of those pics anymore or to see me.

That’s respect.

But hey it’s cool.

You’re just a guy I met at the bar with no depth. And I’m a great person with flaws but I own up to my shit and I make sure I stop it and let you know that. So you’re not in the dark

We had the best thing that could have always been better if you just trusted me and acted like a decent person and never made me feel like I have to question your actions by leaving me in the dark and then seeing those pics on your phone.

It hurt

But you can’t hurt me now cause I lost respect for you. Just cause you’re never sorry for what you put me through but I’m always sorry and try to change the things that bother you.

You really think I don’t give a fuck about myself that much to put up with someone that can’t ever say sorry or tell the truth?

I’m sorry you’re so very wrong and until you can show me your someone worth trusting. I don’t and I’ll show you the best me that you won’t have until you change how hurtful and deceitful you can be.