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Tag: blog
With my little furry friend
I know that whatever comes after this
will be alright

Long Long Long
It’s been a long long long time…
by The Beatles
It's been a long long long time
How could I ever have lost you
When I loved you
It took a long long long time
Now I´m so happy I found you
How I love you
So many tears I was searching,
So many tears I was wasting, oh
Now I can see you, be you
How can I ever misplace you
How I want you
Oh I love you
You know that I need you
Ooh I love you
Songwriters: George Harrison
Long, Long, Long lyrics © The Bicycle Music Company

Love notes & doodles I drew on a wall
I used to make things for the people I loved
Now I rarely do
Nothing inspires me to
These days
I drew silly pictures and
Wrote loving things
On his wall
All the things that were true
Because I wanted to
Only to find it
Painted over
Covered up
Scratched out
Like he did with me
Like he hated to see
Something
I did out of love
Like he hated me
I could never scratch out his name
His notes (he never wrote me)
His time (he rarely gave me)
The gifts (he didn’t make me)
He is not human
Nothing sticks to him
He can take my love
Throw it away
And then begin
Again somewhere else
How can that make me feel good?
To know I was all in
When he was never even close
He’s always been a lifetime away
So far away
Truth
I am letting you go
I am no longer holding on to what is no longer there
I’m not waiting for your care
Or your love
I’m not waiting for a sign
Or a phone call
Or a reply
That will never come
I’m not fooling myself by seeing your little effort give as a loaf of bread
When in reality
All you gave were crumbs
And that is why I would keep trying
Over crumbs I foolishly thought was love
But it wasn’t love
And you never really cared
And you don’t really care now
Cause if you did
I would feel it
I’ve been the one to reach out
To show interest
To take time
And now I’m done.
I’m not angry
I’m not even that sad
I’m just aware that
Holding on to you
Is a waste of time
If you didn’t appreciate me then
You never will
I can’t make you see
What you don’t
Or don’t want to see
I can’t make you feel what you do not feel
I accept you are the way you are
And it’s not what I want
And what I was holding onto is just an illusion I created in my head
And I won’t hold on to shadow
I no longer hold on to you
goodbye
Forever
I let you go
And I am okay
Nothing gets through to you
It’s not all about me
It’s about you too
You live to destroy anything good that I give you
You never look at yourself.
Must be nice living that way
That’s not advanced
That’s pussy-ass shit
If you looked at your behavior even just half the times you’ve made me look at mine then maybe it would work…
But like I said you create problems that aren’t there
And you like to destroy shit that’s actually good.
So I have no more for you.
No more patience
No more understanding
No more chances
No more tolerance for you period
And no more love
I’m done
And you need to stay the fuck away from me. Period
You want to treat me like a bitch then i will be one.
Good riddance you stupid little man.
It’s cold outside
this desire
bottles full of memories
I struggle with the world
without you love
substances find problems
your fear finds misunderstanding
your fear keeps you away
and there’s nothing I can do
to change that
.
time is an island
deserted and alone
afraid to be forgotten
trying to survive
why must the wind
be so harsh?
the fallen
leaves
dance
on.
abandon
walls.
suicide without being able
to die
you take the path
of habit
devils and wolves
hijacked you
and your love
it really doesn’t matter now…
does it?
impossible to
get through
to you.
you got what
you wanted.
me removed.
i give up
and turn away
And stay
That way
On the path that
No longer leads to you.
- kc
2018
why do I write?
I write to express myself.
I write to create.
I write to discover.
I write because I can’t NOT do it.
I write because I enjoy writing.
I write to share a little bit about myself and to learn a lot about myself.
I write cause I’m inspired.
I write to inspire.
I write for me.
I write for you.
I write to feel better.
I write to purge.
I write to love.
I write because I love.
I write because I hate.
I write for all the times I could not speak.
I write to reflect. I write to relate.
I write to release.
I write to recognize.
I write to recharge.
I write to record.
I write to refrain.
I write to repair.
I write to return.
I write to revolt.
I write to revolve.
I write to remember. I write to forget. .
I write because it makes the loneliness feel less lonely.
I write because I learn from writing.
I write because it’s what keeps me from pulling the trigger too quickly.
I write because I want to write…
because I need to write and because I love to write.
Everything was not
i see stars
and bible thumpers
bloom and gloom
like the sound
of the man
ready for doom
I put my spell on you
just like before
only now
I am dancing
on the moonlight floor
i see stars
and bible thumpers
bloom and gloom
like the sound
of the man
ready for doom
I put my spell on you
just like before
only now
I am dancing
on the moonlight floor
I can only run
(to you)
I can only hide
(from you)
if you
want me to leave
I will
go
I leave wounded
all the time
with my destination
out the door
where the stakes
are high
and time don’t end
a sweet choke
under faces
of light
hidden within smoke
and imaginary tales
of without any explanation
interested in this study
more here
then there
the absurd to defend
everyone corrupts
in movement
you rather abuse
than love again
the distance between
cause feelings we reject
already seated
i tried more to protect
myself
from what you see
in the mirror
that is me
another suicide
in the distant blue
i lie here
sweetly crushed
by
the pain of you
-kyoko cole
2018
At the end of the stars there is love
by myself
crushed and flooded
by the fall of you
the moonlight
would laugh at me
if he could
I found sanity in the bottle
the wind catches a thought
with my heart in limbo
I must be lost
in a mess
of sadness
just like me
it was hiding
by myself
crushed and flooded
by the fall of you
the moonlight
would laugh at me
if he could
I found sanity in the bottle
the wind catches a thought
with my heart in limbo
I must be lost
in a mess
of sadness
just like me
it was hiding
the song held out its hand
I still wonder why
you suffered so
and felt the weight
of my troubled soul
so many illusions break through
an honest man
without branches
is always
the first to go
the best we’ve had
I would run to you in a moment
my fantasies
make me hear your voice
at the center of the light
in darkness
i see you
at the end of the stars
there is love.
-kyoko cole
2018
What I do
a piece of me
a piece of you
died Thursday morning
and i’m lost without
Shutter out
Bright
In
I sin
And then begin
Again
What else is there to do?
I have no clue.
A piece of me
A piece of you
Died Thursday morning
And I’m lost without
Turning corners
I find doubt
Mixed in with finding pieces of really awesome
Most beautiful people I have ever known
The best of people
Life has ever shown
But I fuck
I suck?
I drink my way back to gold
One of the saddest stories ever told
Is the one I hold
Goodnight another day goes by with out my friend
Will we ever meet again?
I really hope we do.
-kyoko cole