Uncategorized – Page 15 – skin loves fever

the years go by
so fast
warp speed
did I need…
all the crazy
all the bullshit???
I don’t understand
how so many years
have passed
in a flash of light
in the beat of a heart
sometimes I just want to go back
to back to the start
just yesterday
I was there
now I’m here
aged in the
age of lament
with all those years
and days
and moments
spent
with all the people
and places
and things
that went
along
now gone
time
the bittersweet
heartbreaker

what’s it all about
to be with
only then to be left without
it’s kind of a cruel joke
we are born
just to croak

all the pain and all the joy
we will never be here again
not like this
not this moment
not ever again
let the love in
let the bullshit go

you will miss this
you will miss
I miss it
more than you will ever know

Crow for dinner?

burnt my two fingers

Burnt

Two fingers

Dry lips

Make Papers stick

As fingers slide down

I ash all over myself

So not myself .

Or maybe this is really

Who I am.

God damn

Albatross

Knuckle under

Kneel over

Found myself down

Seems like a lot has

kicked me around

To the ground

Where I’ve already been

But now

The difference is

I don’t care

To speak up

To say how I feel

To any of you

Who fake being real

What good does it do

If people aren’t true

It doesn’t.

Another night locked up

In a bathroom

In a cell

In this self created hell

Alone

And not feeling so well

Alone

But Not feeling all that bad

Actually feeling somewhat glad

Water from the faucet

Water down the drain

I’m done with you

I’m done with pane (yes I spelled that right)

Want to start a fight

No thanks

The hour is getting late

Not worth the wait

Take one for the road

and I also took off

This heavy load

Without a voice

But that is by choice

My choice

Is now

To rejoice

In putting an end

to every useless fairweather friend

I didn’t want or ever need

I’ve already started planting new seeds

Of change

And I am happier right now

than I have ever been.

Time to allow

Only the best things in

Garage yoga cigarette blues

Self split

Can never quite put

My finger on it

But something is there

To make me aware

Of tiny shifts

Of attitude and you

And it’s making me blue

It’s better not to care

Because everyone else doesn’t really seem to anymore

If they ever even did

It’s making me blue

That all I ever was to you (the only one)

Was nothing

Without you

I feel nothing

You

I miss you

But I know

You don’t

Miss me

A little boy

He does everything

He doesn’t want me to do to him

And I’m tired of

His hypocrasy

His lost

Is my gain

He’s showing me

What not to care about

All I need to do

Is stay calm

And not get so upset

Over people

Who don’t know how

To care

To make others want to stick around

This is a bad investment

And I’m not putting any more

In to something that returns less and less

It’s worthless

And a waste of my time

And energy

To deal with someone

Who can’t play fair

another day passes

take another drink
to sink
your mind into
out of the blue
and into the black
just another
sick attack
just another
thing to stack
on top of
all the other
challenges
and
obstacles
I don’t want to understand
but I do
but can’t you stop
and see me
like I see you
tummy churns
and the heart burns
I die a little more
every time
it goes
and blows
a little more
away
all the things I try
but fail
to say
that you
don’t hear
don’t care to listen to
anyway
why do you make me feel this
fucked up way
I’m not okay

see how it feels

This shit sucks

weird feel

sit
staring at the lines
on a page
sounds
of this and that
I don’t know anymore

my body feels
the desire
the natural beating
and ticking of time
counting down
the hours
made into days
made into-
not that many years
LEFT
biology is weird
bodies are weird
age is weird
life is fucking weird.
time is running out
and fast

I’m a late bloomer
when it comes to things
that the rest of the world
seemed to figure out
long ago

every new
chubby little face
is just a reminder of
what I don’t have
what I may never have
what I threw away many years before

what a waste
how it is that
one day I was young
and now i’m on bordering on
OLD?

this is sick

fuck time frames
fuck windows
fuck restrictions
that I didn’t implement

I’m like a 4 year old child going on 80 but still with a 18 year old feel

ugh

family is all I’ve ever wanted
and yet the furthest thing away

Lov3

I am in love with you

Thank you for loving me

The way you do

Whiskey midnight mayhem blues – skin loves fever

Scorpion sting Aborted fetus Creation of two Left for only one Left for the dead The constant playback in my head Of the last words ever said A belly full of lies a heart less and less of you spitting words lies spoken you can feel the real of fake you try to make off…
— Read on skinlovesfever.com/2013/10/11/whiskey-midnight-mayhem-blues/