skin loves fever

This is for you

You make me smile
And
I like it
But I don’t know
Sigh.
This is the lamest post
I’ve ever written
And you are asleep
While I write this
Wanting to be next to you

Lame
:)

look forward

look forward but i know in my heart

not to look back towards you

for you are somewhere else

and your place

makes no space

for me

i love something that only exists in my heart now

cause the way you show and hold and give then take

is whenever you please

like a tool

like a trap

that’s not a loving place for me

so i sit here and i know that the only thing i can do

is to let you go from my heart and let you remain

wherever you stay that is safe

no matter what words you use

no matter what you make yourself believe

you are set in your ways

which only keeps me further away from me

to wait for you

or anyone who

isn’t there

is a slow death

to believe what you say but do not show

is abandoning my heart

and myself

i let go

of what i wanted with you

to yearn for something or someone

who isn’t there and won’t be there

is torture

when i let go

i see what i wanted

for what it really is and what it really is not

it is not for me

it is not what i need

i open my eyes within and find truth

and find love and wisdom

i can’t teach a blind man to see with his heart

what he won’t allow himself see

i can’t make you be better for you

and you will never be better for me

it isn’t about me

what i wanted from you

i already have in and all around

i let go

of the old

and something new is found

I want to say

I really love my grandmother and appreciate that she was there for the time that she was. And even though she isn’t here now I hope to see her in the after life.
My cats. I love my cats.

I LOVE a lot of people.
And the Beatles
And making art
And kisses
And hugs
And I don’t take any of that for granted
But some things just can’t be worked out

No matter how hard I try

Where’s the yolk?

Eggshell egos
Eggshell ground
Eggshell walls
Seeping the sound
Of lovers
Reunited
Only to be divided
By eggshells
You can’t build
Anything made to last
Out of eggshells

-kc

But I love you
And I don’t want to share
You
Sexually
Lol
I want to share you in a beautiful way
Where all your goodness and wisdom can be shared with other people who can learn something and visa verse.
But I don’t want to share you
In the most intimate way
I don’t.
That’s something that I wasn’t too just share and know with you.
Until we are no longer
Than I just want you
And me
To be the only

Yes

“What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

To understand is to perceive patterns

Understand that when you’re trying to understand me

Today I found a friend

Long lost
But never lost inside myself
My heart was shaped
And I was formed
From the moment we met
And because of this
I am something new
And because of this
I am someone more
Of me
True
To who I am beyond this body
Beyond this name or face
Or title
Or gender
Or box
We in this physical world like to stuff each other in with no other way out or no place beyond that judgement to call home
We are
I am
Much more than the brain
Much more than the mind
And the physical
Can ever allow
Old friend
Did I find you
Or maybe
You found me
There is no one above the other
Or beginning or end
Old friend
You taught me
To remember what everyone of us already know:
Love
Live and be alive
With love