2 pianos and a cat

I sit here and look at a room filled with stuff
memories collecting dust
2 pianos covered with this and that
and on the couch asleep
is my siamese cat
I don’t know what to do
I don’t know what to say
when fear sets in
and gets in the way
frightened child
inside the 40 year old me
why must I always have to be
number 1
the best
the first
the only
given 100%
have all
or want nothing
I don’t know…

I sit here
and wait for my feelings to go
down a bit
level out
but I know
if I do
then I’ll do without
so I sit
in silence
Let myself feel

Letting go

Is the way to heal