Beer as cold as your ex’s heart

I will never understand how some people can be so cold.

To turn off

To love conditionally

To have such black and white thinking and feeling

To be cruel

To make up reasons why to hate

To criticize and put down

Yet be blind to everything that’s good

To completely ignore their own behavior

To make another person feel unwanted

Unimportant

Useless

So many people “love” that way

That’s not love.

That’s just selfishness mixed with a bitterness

You teach others through love

You can kill a man with disregard and neglect

And a mean spirit

Some people’s truth is whatever they were conditioned with from the time they were born

All they know is to pass that down to anyone and everyone they touch.

Yet they don’t see it.

Some people love to blame others or something false as a reason to take out their anger and pain on someone

Some people only know how to push the people that care about them away.

If all you know is the negative

If all you’ve seen and experienced is negative

You’re gonna end up looking for the negative in everyone else that comes along

I wish compassion played a higher role in mankind

I wish people thought about the lasting effects of their actions and behavior towards others

I wish people didn’t react to things they make up in their head

We are in this world

Hopefully to help one another

Not to harm someone who truly loves you

And definitely not to harm the ones who love you just because our past experiences and trauma makes you think that it’s okay to do.

It’s sad.

But there will always be people out there who just don’t know why better

And /or just don’t care to be better than what was done to them.

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I wish you a happy life

For the first time

I truly

100%

without any doubt

Wish you the best

I Want the happiest life

For you

And for myself

Though our time together

Is now done

At least for now and the near future.

I am grateful

For the times we had

Both good and bad.

It was a part of my life

And I respect it

As that.

I am now okay

With letting you go.

I cannot make you stay

Nor would I want to.

I cannot change you

I can only change myself

I do not harbor any bad feels towards you

I need space and time to heal

Without you around

But I do not have bad feelings towards you.

However you feel about me is non of my concern anymore.

Those are your feelings and i respect that you are allowed to feel the way you do

Even if I don’t agree on what you feel and why you feel them

I cannot change how you feel

And I will not try

I know who i am

And i accept and love myself for who I am

I am still learning and growing and changing too. I am not perfect

No one is

But i know my worth

No one else has the power to determine that for me except for me.

If you do not know my worth

That is okay

You don’t have to

You don’t have to be around me

But i don’t have to be around you

I don’t have to do anything I don’t feel comfortable doing

I don’t have to be okay with something or someone that is not okay to me and my well being

I will keep my distance

I hope you will do the same.

Thank you

And goodbye

-KC

“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” ~Jean de La Fontaine

Time has come today

I relized something today

I can want you in my life

And I would have you

Make space and time for you

And it doesn’t matter to you

If I’m a part of your life

You could take me or leave me

One way or the other

It’s not that important to you

And yeah it hurts

But then I think

That you are just who you are

And maybe there’s never been anything or anyone important enough to you for you to make the effort to try

And I mean really try to give yourself fully to one thing. One person. To love from a place without the fear of what may happen or the fear of what will happen sometimes. To give full allowance to the fact that maybe you might get hurt. But maybe not. And what If not. What if after the difficult times and momentary struggles ( which is all we focus on when we’re struggling instead of looking at all the good stuff)… What if it was really amazing? Amazing cause you took the time and care and love and really got to know the other person and learn to accept each other and love each other and deal with each other on a whole new level.

Without fear

Without judgements or inaccurate beliefs about the other person who we judge because we don’t fully understand them

Maybe there’s never been anything worth it to you to want to keep around.

But what if people really loved and cared enough about each other to just try when it’s not easy. To love when the person is hard to love yet they need it the most. Showing trust and giving trust and being completely honest and open. Not everyone is the same so why do we expect everyone to know and feel what you feel and judge

Maybe giving ourselces to something fully is the answer. Not half assed. Not always having one foot out the door. Ready to give up ready to leave. What if the answer is commiting ourselves to someone or something fully…knowing it’s not always gonna be fun or easy and being okay, ready and willing for that.

Maybe we would find the most amazing thing you’ve ever known

Cause we took the time and effort dedication in someone or something to actually know

You can tell me you’re not afraid of anything

But clearly we all are

Give someone that loves you the chance to be who they really are

Teach them to grow through love

Tell them they matter and that you love them.

Make them feel loved and safe and show them that you are someone they can trust by being trustworthy.

That’s how we change the world

Give love when someone needs it

And accept the love that person gives

Show love and others will show love back.

I know you are you

And I am me

But sometimes i wish you did feel the way I feel for you

For me

But we can’t always have someone wants to give all that you’re willing to give

Not everyone is going to love us back

That’s okay.

I’m happy to know that someday I’ll have someone who wants to put up with me too

And that’s something that makes me love even more. 😉

To be ignored

to be ignored

By the person you truly love

Is the worst feeling in the world.

shame
artwork by kyoko cole 2017

When I die

When I Die

Lush

LYRICS

If you walked in now

I wouldn’t start I wouldn’t frown

And if you just appeared

I wouldn’t cry or think it weird

‘Cause you are still around

You’re in the air, you’re in the ground

And you can’t go away

I am afraid you’re here to stay

Friends don’t understand

They close the door, they raise their hands

She says she heard your voice

Of course she does, she has no choice

I was hours ahead

When they removed you from your bed

They drank all the while

Until you said goodbye

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

I don’t look up, I don’t look down

I look ahead and make no sound

My love was there,

I only stare

Healty in my dreams

Is what you are, is what is seems

What does it all mean?

You’re only hiding behind a screen

Curse the English day

For what it forces us to say

Banish all the pain

‘Cause when I die, die

I’ll see you again.

Songwriters: Emma Victoria Jane Anderson

When I Die lyrics © BMG Rights Management US, LLC

You brought truth in a dream

You told me the truth

In a dream last night

You showed me what I already had known was true

But to see you and her…

Right here

Right there

Made me aware

That I was never the one you really loved

You love her still and always will

And in my dream I felt my heart really break

I felt the child inside me ache

All I could do was cry

As I watched something I loved so much

Die

And then I awoke

With the tears

But no more fears

Cause I knew it was you

Cause I knew it was true

And because I knew this time it really was our last goodbye.

Diablo

What a terrible thing

You call love

What a low

You call life

So many times I see

The Nothing behind your eyes

I won’t let myself disappear

From believing all your lies

And I don’t have to be as cold

As you

to keep myself alive

I don’t have to be as bold

As you

To prove I will survive

You can try

You can try

To spin me

in

your web of illusion

Your ties of confusion

You can stay down with your demons

You can stay dark with the night

You can stay hidden within the shadows

But you can’t take away my light

You can try

But you won’t take away my light

I won’t follow you down

Your rabbit hole

Of fables

Your flip switch

Turn of tables

I won’t chase you

I ain’t gonna race you

And I sure as hell won’t embrace you

At the cost

Of me

Getting lost

Just to find you

Running out the door

I won’t take any more

You love to make me wait

You love to use love as bait

To fake your way in

And make me believe you care

But baby

Better beware

it’s a trap

It’s all just a trap

And I ain’t yours no more

Mister selfish

You fucked up royally this time

There won’t be a next

User

Abuser

Loser

You are those things by the way you choose to behave

Cause you are aware

But right now

You really don’t care

How to treat others

Cause you’re so consumed with treating yourself

To everyone and everything you please

Remember this

There’s no reason for me to give you

Any good that you will want again

After the way you treated me

The way you treat her behind her back

You lack

Morals

And any sense of how to be good

And someday

It will be time for you to repay

You’ll get yours

even worse

Than you could ever imagine

And I hope it hurts you deeply

Cause it’s the only way

You’ll ever learn…

How it feels

When someone does what you do

Right back at you

Remember today

And you’ll know why

You deserve to hurt and have no one there

To help you escape

Soon you won’t be able to escape yourself and your shit anymore

 

 

How to disappear and never be found

kyoko cole art

Just let go

Of everything

You ever had

You ever loved

You ever were

You ever knew

And turn

Into something

Or someone new

Cause whatever was

Doesn’t matter

And whatever is will soon be gone

It’s time to just move on

You’ll be fine without them

And they will be even more fine without you

Let it all go

Go somewhere else

And go start a new

You are so much more

Than any name or label

Or whatever is not really anything at all

Has made you believe you are

-kc

Hank

You were great

I’ll miss you

We will all miss you

Forever…

sagesse rétrospective

What happened between us
Was the best thing
For me
Right now

Tu n'es pas bon pour moi