You know what you need
Listen to yourself
The starving parts of you
Before it’s too late
You know what you need
Listen to yourself
The starving parts of you
Before it’s too late
Quitters always believe the lies they tell themselves because delusion is easier to live with than the reality that they settled for an easier path.
-Shannon L. Alder
Evil loves to subvert all blame onto the innocent.
-E.A. Bucchianeri, Vocation of a Gadfly (Gadfly Saga, #2)
In the narcissist’s world being accepted or cared for (not to mention loved) is a foreign language. It is meaningless or even repellent. One might recite the most delicate haiku in Japanese and it would still remain utterly meaningless to a non-speaker of Japanese. This does not diminish the value of the haiku or of the Japanese language, needless to say. But it means nothing to the non-speaker.
Narcissists damage and hurt but they do so offhandedly and naturally, as an afterthought…
They are aware of what they are doing to others – but they do not care.
-Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited
No other being is lesser human than the one who thinks of others as such.
In the eyes of a Narcissist, they are perfect and never make mistakes. It’s always your fault.
Once you are no longer a source of supply a narcissist will discard you cruelly with horrifically unimaginable devastation. This is when they show the ‘no empathy’ part. They do not care about you and learning that puts victims into a tailspin of confusion and depression.
The emotionally cold or distant trait also rears its head during arguments when one person is experiencing and expressing significant emotion and the narcissistic person just checks out and does not respond—or does so in a cold and clipped manner. At such times you may find yourself spinning—and actually feeling as though you are “going crazy”—because the coldness of the response makes it even more difficult to regulate yourself in that moment. The emotional coldness can be confusing for you and may result in attempts to jump through hoops to generate warmth and connection with your partner. I have observed people wearing themselves out over decades, trying to create a fire where there was no possibility.
-Ramani Durvasula, Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
It might look like your enemies are winning, but be ready God is about to flip the script.
-Shannon L. Alder, The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Bible
One of the easiest ways to discover if someone is compatible with you is to gauge their emotional intelligence. Are they a kind and sensitive person? Will they be respectful towards your sensitivities? Or, are they emotionally stunted? Remember, we tend to attract narcissistic types who lack empathy.
A narcissist, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of an empath. Emotionally, narcissists are like brick walls who see and hear others but fail to understand or relate to them. As a result of their emotional shallowness, narcissists are essentially devoid of all empathy or compassion for other people. Lacking empathy, a narcissist is a very destructive and dangerous person to be around.
I csnt make someone be able to see
What I see
Just like others point out in me
What they see
And tell me what they want me to be
But I’m me
And me had a good heart
And me will deal with a lot
Until my heart had been ripped apart
One too many times
I get sick
Of the inconsistent love
Between each time you split
And I stuck around
So many times you left me
And kicked me while I was down
You didn’t even want me around
But you did this one too many times
You’ve show no care to be more aware
I’m not your punching bag
But the way you treat me
Sometimes is stuck a drag
And I don’t have love for someone who won’t show love for me
I don’t expect you to be
There’s the door
You’ve been asking for
You want out
Then you got it
I don’t want to try with this one sided shit
While you sit
And put all blame on me
I can’t love someone who doesn’t see
What they do
But they expect you to
I’ll save myself
For the kind of people
Who treat me right
Without a fight
I loved you for a long time
And I have more patience than most people do
It takes a lot for me to give up
But all you do
Are the things that make me lose love for you
so if that’s what you want
Then that’s what you get
But remember this :
I used to miss your lovely kiss
But you made that feeling go away
Just like me
You shouldn’t treat people you love like shit
Cause eventually they’ll get sick of it
When I fell in love with you
I had an open mind and an open heart
My smile was for you because you did things that made me happy.
You treated me nice and kind and we had fun
Over time you let insecurities take over
And became angry and mean.
You made me work so hard for your love you love gave me freely.
You took me for three kind of woman I was not.
I ended up paying for the sins of the women before me and I started to hate myself cause I didn’t know what I was doing wrong when I wasn’t doing anything wrong or bad to you.
I kept trying and changing and improving myself to be more understanding and considerate of your feelings only to have you be less understanding and considerate if mine.
What’s even worse is any time we would fight you would just ignore me like I never mattered. Yet the reason we would fight was because you didn’t want to hear my feelings if you didn’t understand them you would automatically just tune me out or call me stupid cause you didn’t want to deal with anything that I felt that ioi didn’t feel. You only wanted me to deal with your feelings when you felt them. Plus most of the time you’d be drinking something. Even if you didn’t drink for a few days – the long term use of alcohol made you become something else and that someone was very mean and abusive and paranoid.
I had beautiful feelings for you until you treated me the way you would treat someone who fucked you over which I never did. You made me become ( in your head) just the same as someone from your past until I finally lost it.
You wanted me to be the Whore you could blame for all your problems. You would rather see a lie that feels confortable and familiar than to see me for who i really was to you. Someone who loved you and cared enough to not want to hurt you.
It was never good enough. Out of all the things I did that were right and loving and good. You would hold onto this one tiny thing I said way back in the beginning that you didn’t like and use that as your reason to treat me the way you did in the end – completely awful.
I would cry myself too sleep so many nights only to wake up to the same thing and not want to leave my bed
I didn’t understand how i could love you so Unconditionally while you had a long list of conditions I had to obey before you even site m me even an ounce of affection. And even if I did everything you said you wanted it didn’t seem to marry you would still get drunk get angry and find some reason to point fingers and leave me again.
That’s what love is to you
That’s not love to me
If I wanted to be with someone else I would have been
I wouldn’t lie and cheat
Why would I have put so much effort until our relationship ( getting barely anything in return) if I didn’t love you.
Why would I constantly go to you and come a running every time you’d call if I just wanted to be with someone else?
That’s dumb that you even use that as a reason to be angry when I would always go home with you
You pushed me away.
You did this.
I did everything I could to show you
You did everything you could to push me away
And this last time
You hurt me worse than I ever thought imaginable.
For months after I was the depressed I’ve ever been and you didnt try even just to see if I was okay. I wasn’t.
I started to believe that everyone was like you
I was hopeless trying not to be hopeless
For months you just ignored me and I started to feel like I never existed or mattered to you.
It’s Funny how life is sometimes.
On my lowest night
I met someone
And didn’t think much of it at the time
But after the first night we hung out together I realized that is how it should feel. This is how I should be treated. This is how I want to treat people that are kind and caring and thoughtful to me.
It wasn’t me who did anything wrong with you yeag sure I made some minor mistakes but so did you (and many many major ones) and i didn’t just give up on you and stop loving you. I didn’t just start treating you like someone who didn’t matter the minute I didn’t like something. I communicated and I was honest.
I loved you
But you didn’t love me.
And now that I’m shown respect and love and care without all the unnecessary games abs run arounds and half truths but am still so many lies – i see it even more.
If you wanted me you would have had me. You would have treated me better like people do when they want to keep someone in their life.
You wouldn’t have let me go
But I’m kinda glad you did now
Cause now I know
What love really is.
I don’t know where
To even begin
Cause I want
I can’t have
But I fear
And I fear
Nothing at all
I could watch
It all fall
And be fine in the end
But in the end
I’d be alone
Like really alone
And I don’t
Give me a sign
Give me the call
Give me your all
Let me know
That I’m something
And not some thing
You don’t know
to be ignored
By the person you truly love
Is the worst feeling in the world.
Is all you
It’s all you do
Anything that takes some work
makes you take off
sets you off
You have something to prove
The way you move
Shows an anger
That has built
the way you deal
Is by not dealing at all
one question leads you to war
there’s no way to even the score
With a narcissist like you
you can’t forgive
You can’t give love
You don’t have
You build up a false self
while the real you hides somewhere
collecting dust on a shelf
and it sucks being somebody who loves you
Cause you can’t change
If you think you’re perfect
You were great
I’ll miss you
We will all miss you
What happened between us
Was the best thing
Tu n'es pas bon pour moi
Even though the unhealthy partv if me wants to try
I see no reason to.
I used to try
But now I see
That it ain’t me
That’s the problem
And you can believe
Whatever you make up in your head
But I see
What’s actually reality
And you just don’t.
Everything you do is like toxic glue
It’s easy to stick to you
I thought you loved me too
But now I see that you don’t love me at all
Narcissistic paranoid accuser
Just a loser
Who’s gonna lose in the end
Cause you can’t grow
If you think you know
But clearly you know nothing
But a bunch of bullshit
You’ve Brainwashed yourself to believe
Where is your heart?
You have no heart
You’re a little angry man
Of what really matters
Unable to ever change