night sights and sounds

dark fever growl
you scream and howl
wild by night
I lose sight.
Where did you go?
something I may never know
or most likely I already do

I sit and watch
sleepless nights
fall over me.

I wish I had the feel
I feel too much
I don’t feel at all
I wonder which one
is real.

-Kyoko Cole

High-Functioning Anxiety and Depression – Bridges to Recovery

High-Functioning Anxiety and Depression – Bridges to Recovery
— Read on www.google.com/amp/s/www.bridgestorecovery.com/high-functioning-anxiety/high-functioning-anxiety-depression/amp/

Yupp. 😔

Wednesday night

I Was feeling sad

Rejected

Unwanted

Then someone called my name

Then another person bought me flowers

But it still didn’t feel the same.

I’m grateful for this who cared

In a moment when someone did not

But I guess I just caught

Feelings

In a moment

For someone I should have thought twice about

Love is a Dog From Hell

Notes of a Dirty Old Man

“Charles Bukowski” Fine Art Quote Print, “She’s Mad But She’s Magic”, Literary Quote, Love Poem

To be ignored

to be ignored

By the person you truly love

Is the worst feeling in the world.

shame
artwork by kyoko cole 2017

Diablo

What a terrible thing

You call love

What a low

You call life

So many times I see

The Nothing behind your eyes

I won’t let myself disappear

From believing all your lies

And I don’t have to be as cold

As you

to keep myself alive

I don’t have to be as bold

As you

To prove I will survive

You can try

You can try

To spin me

in

your web of illusion

Your ties of confusion

You can stay down with your demons

You can stay dark with the night

You can stay hidden within the shadows

But you can’t take away my light

You can try

But you won’t take away my light

I won’t follow you down

Your rabbit hole

Of fables

Your flip switch

Turn of tables

I won’t chase you

I ain’t gonna race you

And I sure as hell won’t embrace you

At the cost

Of me

Getting lost

Just to find you

Running out the door

I won’t take any more

You love to make me wait

You love to use love as bait

To fake your way in

And make me believe you care

But baby

Better beware

it’s a trap

It’s all just a trap

And I ain’t yours no more

Haunted

The loneliness

You can’t escape

It’s there with our without you

It’s there in a crowded room

It’s there on a deserted street

I used to enjoy being alone

Cause I wasn’t lonely

Now I don’t enjoy much of anything

Everything reminds me of something that is no more

Dead flowers of yesterday

Fill my days

And haunt my nights

What can I do?

Nothing
Even though the unhealthy partv if me wants to try
I see no reason to.

Someday never comes 

Busted pieces

Faulty parts

Dead eyes

Cold hearts

There’s no use in trying

To save what’s sunk

There’s no use in holding

On to what’s junk

The city of stars

Is under a starless sky

The city of sunshine

Is where light comes to die

It’s a fraud

It’s a fake

It’s the kind of city that will make

And break

You into the worst

But first

It will take

You

And

It will blind you

With the illusion

And then fill you up with confusion

Until you

are no longer you anymore

Love means nothing Here

It’s just a word people throw around and use

and abuse.

There’s no use in trying

There is no use in trying

-Kyoko Cole 2017

You gotta kill yourself before you kill everybody else

I want you to LOVE me as my broken self

Just like you want others to do for you

But it ain’t easy

And it ain’t gonna ever happen

With someone who just gives up  

I need strength when I ain’t strong

I am strength when others are weak

But right now 

I seek

To change

To find

Gotta break the bond

And not my heart

I wish there was some way to go back to the start

But I know

Better

And you wanted me to go

Goodbye song 

Loves shadow hangs low

Loves broken me in two

Million pieces

And at moments

I feel like I can’t go on
But it’s alright

I’ll be alright

Even if I’m all wrong

I’ll sing my song

And mourn the loss of you
No closed doors

All were left  wide open

And the empty hallways

Left my empty too

And at this moment I feel like I can’t go on
But it’s alright

I’ll be alright

Even if I’m all wrong

I’ll sing this song

For it’s my way to say goodbye to you

 

-kyoko Cole 2017

 

A fight I can’t win 

I used to try 

But now I see 

That it ain’t me 

That’s the problem  

And you can believe 

Whatever you make up in your head 

But I see 

What’s actually reality 

And you just don’t. 

Everything you do is like toxic glue 

It’s easy to stick to you 

I thought you loved me too

But now I see that you don’t love me at all 

Emotional abuser 

Manipulator user 

Narcissistic paranoid accuser 

A liar 

A blamer

A child 

A shamer

Just a loser 

Who’s gonna  lose in the end 

Cause you can’t grow 

If you think you know 

It all  

But clearly you know nothing 

But a bunch of bullshit 

You’ve Brainwashed yourself to believe 

Where is your heart?

You have no heart 

No love

No care 

You’re a little angry man 

Unaware 

Of what really matters 

Unable to ever change