Now that you’re gone
I have no one by my side
To help me through
That person was always you
Now i feel the loneliness
Of being truly alone
You were the greatest friend
I have ever known
That this world has ever shown
I’m not alright
I’m not okay
Just take me back
To a better day
You were always there for me
And I’m so grateful for that
And for you
Until we meet again
I love you…
My sweet friend
It’s been one year without you
After 35 1/2 with you
And I’m lost
I need you
I miss you
Goodbye
He wasn’t there
No.
Not at all
Never.
Not willing
Not capable
Not true.
Not wanting
Not caring maybe.
But I saw it once
When he maybe cared
Maybe wanted to
Maybe willing
Maybe the demons in his head
Were on vacation
Or tired.
Cause even demons need a break too
I don’t know
All I can say is how I feel
And it’s sad
To see someone you loved so much
Just turn into someone else
And have such hate
And meanness
Doesn’t make me angry
Doesn’t make me want to get revenge
I’m too sad for that
And revenge was never my thing
I let time and truth
Work it’s own magic
But right now
The kind of sadness I feel
Is like when a family member or someone you were super close dies
Except it’s worse
Cause he’s still there
Seeing whatever he wants to see
That isn’t really me
Not seeing me
But letting the real demons
Alter his brain
Take over his soul
Without him even knowing
It’s a sadness I can’t explain
Unless you’ve felt it before
One I never
Want to feel again.
-kyoko cole
I will never understand how some people can be so cold.
To turn off
To love conditionally
To have such black and white thinking and feeling
To be cruel
To make up reasons why to hate
To criticize and put down
Yet be blind to everything that’s good
To completely ignore their own behavior
To make another person feel unwanted
Unimportant
Useless
So many people “love” that way
That’s not love.
That’s just selfishness mixed with a bitterness
You teach others through love
You can kill a man with disregard and neglect
And a mean spirit
Some people’s truth is whatever they were conditioned with from the time they were born
All they know is to pass that down to anyone and everyone they touch.
Yet they don’t see it.
Some people love to blame others or something false as a reason to take out their anger and pain on someone
Some people only know how to push the people that care about them away.
If all you know is the negative
If all you’ve seen and experienced is negative
You’re gonna end up looking for the negative in everyone else that comes along
I wish compassion played a higher role in mankind
I wish people thought about the lasting effects of their actions and behavior towards others
I wish people didn’t react to things they make up in their head
We are in this world
Hopefully to help one another
Not to harm someone who truly loves you
And definitely not to harm the ones who love you just because our past experiences and trauma makes you think that it’s okay to do.
It’s sad.
But there will always be people out there who just don’t know why better
And /or just don’t care to be better than what was done to them.
For the first time
I truly
100%
without any doubt
Wish you the best
I Want the happiest life
For you
And for myself
Though our time together
Is now done
At least for now and the near future.
I am grateful
For the times we had
Both good and bad.
It was a part of my life
And I respect it
As that.
I am now okay
With letting you go.
I cannot make you stay
Nor would I want to.
I cannot change you
I can only change myself
I do not harbor any bad feels towards you
I need space and time to heal
Without you around
But I do not have bad feelings towards you.
However you feel about me is non of my concern anymore.
Those are your feelings and i respect that you are allowed to feel the way you do
Even if I don’t agree on what you feel and why you feel them
I cannot change how you feel
And I will not try
I know who i am
And i accept and love myself for who I am
I am still learning and growing and changing too. I am not perfect
No one is
But i know my worth
No one else has the power to determine that for me except for me.
If you do not know my worth
That is okay
You don’t have to
You don’t have to be around me
But i don’t have to be around you
I don’t have to do anything I don’t feel comfortable doing
I don’t have to be okay with something or someone that is not okay to me and my well being
I will keep my distance
I hope you will do the same.
Thank you
And goodbye
-KC
“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” ~Jean de La Fontaine
Where’s my love?
He’s not the same person now
He’s gone mad
And I miss the man
I loved so much
Consumes me right now
And I can’t help but cry
And
You will sit there
Knowing how I feel
And never
Ever understand
Why
Please don’t blame yourself
You are not bad
I want you to know that
From the bottom of my heart to
The deepest part of your soul
You are loved
You make me so sad
What pain is
When you have to deal with someone like you
But I won’t be there
By your side.
Cause you were never really there for me..
Your presence was airways tainted with a hateful evil and cruelty
That I could never and will never understand
You like to break the people who love you
Down
To the fucked up hole
You came from
And your actions and words
Have done enough
This time
You have crossed the line
And I no longer have love for someone who is a predator like you
You have no love in your heart
You just take the good and make the bad
And leave
Like the coward you are
who cares if you can beat someone up
Or who cares how angry you can get
You’re still a fucking coward and a bully
You can’t deal with shit without drugs
Or hurting the ones closest to you
You came in this world alone
And you’ll die alone
And I hope you feel what you made me feel
Cause i did nothing to deserve the level of hate and anger you have thrown at me
My bad for putting up with it for so long.
You don’t deserve love.
You need to be treated like the ugly person you truly are
You need to have someone break your heart the way you love to break mine.
Ahhh but narcissists don’t feel
So I guess you’ll be fine
You should go away
You are the reason this world is a shitty place
Cause you don’t make it any better.
You suck the soul of of people who loved you
And then you think it’s everyone else
You’ll never get past this level.
Cause you have no love to give
You are a loser
And you just lost me for good.
Good riddance you ugly
Hateful little man.
You’re a lost cause
And no one will ever care as much as i did
And you just fucked that up
One- on- one mixed-media art lessons in Los Angeles
‘Cause talking is better than working
I spend a lot of time pondering what it all means.
A Writer's Musings (And Likely Some Shameless Self-Promotion As Well)
An outlet for my random thoughts and interests
where would it flow...
Serving a little poetic nourishment Monday thru Friday and featuring a Short Play Saturday Matinee to read.
Tales From The Life Of A Soul
skin loves fever 
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