I’m listening to Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier Glynn, narrated by Susan Forward, Kathleen Gati, Julia Whelan, Cherise Boothe, David Atlas on my Audible app. Try Audible and get it here: https://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B00EOXMXT0&source_code=ASSORAP0511160006
Tag: bsidejunkie
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You stand there
Like a lost child
Like someone so out of place
Uncomfortable
unwanted
Uneven
You begin to see that YOU ARE THE JOKE
and it makes your lips tremble
As the lump in your throat
Begins to choke
The tears out
Of your eyes
more alcohol please
inside and out
organized my closet
got rid of half my clothes
i never wore
mopped all the hardwood floors
made some art
made some crafts
made a mess just to clean it up again
made my bed
and now….
i don’t know
people are weird
it’s not just the coronavirus that’s making this way
it’s our times
people are very selfish
and disconnected
we didn’t need this pandemic to social distance…
we do it regardless
we just don’t see it
cause we’re out and about
and being very social
being social doesn’t equal intimacy
just like sex doesn’t
it makes me a little sad
but it is what it is
and i’m happy to have dodge a bullet again
i’m not one to settle
don’t think i’ll start now
Jerk Stain
Wish I could erase
The trace
Of you
And your stupid face
I wish I could undo
And replace
The space
With someone new
And lovely.
Someone nothing like you
If you could see yourself
The way others do
You would hate you too
My weak-end blues
Goes a little something like this :
Gonna wake up –
Just enough
To drink myself back to sleep
The bottle is my one true friend
I can’t keep
It together
I don’t know where to start
I got the blues
With a weak-end
And a broken heart
I got the blues
And it’s-a tearin’ me apart
-kyoko
Killing trees
Paper plates
And landscapes
Rain drops too
And morning dew
All of the things
that remind me of you
Won’t leave me alone
Won’t go away
But I can’t keep you
If you don’t want to stay
the dead and I
Won’t go our separate ways
But you do
it’s easy too
Nothing ever sticks to you
You just move along
Without a care
One day here
Next day there
Somewhere
(nowhere?)
Someplace else
With someone else
You’ll never know
How it feels
to watch you go
You’ll never know
How it feels
To feel this low
Hoping this time
will be
The last time
Somebody that I used to know
Quitters always believe the lies they tell themselves because delusion is easier to live with than the reality that they settled for an easier path.
-Shannon L. Alder
Evil loves to subvert all blame onto the innocent.
-E.A. Bucchianeri, Vocation of a Gadfly (Gadfly Saga, #2)
In the narcissist’s world being accepted or cared for (not to mention loved) is a foreign language. It is meaningless or even repellent. One might recite the most delicate haiku in Japanese and it would still remain utterly meaningless to a non-speaker of Japanese. This does not diminish the value of the haiku or of the Japanese language, needless to say. But it means nothing to the non-speaker.
Narcissists damage and hurt but they do so offhandedly and naturally, as an afterthought…
They are aware of what they are doing to others – but they do not care.
-Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited
No other being is lesser human than the one who thinks of others as such.
-Abhijit Naskar, Human Making is Our Mission: A Treatise on Parenting (Humanism Series)
In the eyes of a Narcissist, they are perfect and never make mistakes. It’s always your fault.
-Tracy Malone
Once you are no longer a source of supply a narcissist will discard you cruelly with horrifically unimaginable devastation. This is when they show the ‘no empathy’ part. They do not care about you and learning that puts victims into a tailspin of confusion and depression.
-Tracy Malone
The emotionally cold or distant trait also rears its head during arguments when one person is experiencing and expressing significant emotion and the narcissistic person just checks out and does not respond—or does so in a cold and clipped manner. At such times you may find yourself spinning—and actually feeling as though you are “going crazy”—because the coldness of the response makes it even more difficult to regulate yourself in that moment. The emotional coldness can be confusing for you and may result in attempts to jump through hoops to generate warmth and connection with your partner. I have observed people wearing themselves out over decades, trying to create a fire where there was no possibility.
-Ramani Durvasula, Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
It might look like your enemies are winning, but be ready God is about to flip the script.
-Shannon L. Alder, The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Bible
One of the easiest ways to discover if someone is compatible with you is to gauge their emotional intelligence. Are they a kind and sensitive person? Will they be respectful towards your sensitivities? Or, are they emotionally stunted? Remember, we tend to attract narcissistic types who lack empathy.
-Aletheia Luna, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing
A narcissist, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of an empath. Emotionally, narcissists are like brick walls who see and hear others but fail to understand or relate to them. As a result of their emotional shallowness, narcissists are essentially devoid of all empathy or compassion for other people. Lacking empathy, a narcissist is a very destructive and dangerous person to be around.
-Mateo Sol, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing
there’s no one who got away
Limited distractions
A force to reflect
All the things we normally forget
Looking back
I don’t look with the same heart or with the same head
mainly because
my love for you is dead
At the hands of you
At the hands of you
So you didn’t get away
No sir
Now With a better view
A clear realistic look at you
I wouldn’t want you to stay
I wouldn’t even consider it
Besides You never did much for me anyway.
It wasn’t me
It was you
That tried to make me pay
For your distorted view
How much better it would have been
If you cared and dared to really begin
If you didn’t allow all your past negative in
But you did
And it was there
You let your past negative win
Instead of us
You weren’t even aware
That it was you
Who
Took us down
Who would want that?
Not me
why would I ever
want someone like you around?
I don’t
Want you
At all
Anymore
I always knew
I was too good for you.
Now you will know it too
Twisted Gold Ring
I miss that time
Before all this shit
Went to shit
You gave me a ring
It was simple
Yet pretty
And it meant the world to me
But you pissed me off
And I threw it out the window of my car
ran it over
It had a kink in it after that
And I loved it even more than before
You gave it back to me and I wish I never gave it back to you after that
I miss that time and
I miss that little gold ring
Cause it came from your heart
Which just like you,
I never see anymore
And probably won’t see ever again
If you like pina coladas
Yacht rock
Tick tock
you own a boat
I can’t swin
But I sure can float
I will coat
Your ego
And fix
You a drink
When you’ve had too much to think
I’ll be you link
To home
As long as you’re sweet
And good
And keep us safe
I’ll keep you wild
Protect your inner child
love why don’t you come to you’re senses?
I’m not your enemy
When you gonna see
That all I wanna do
Is love you
And keep you close
Have your baby
As we’ll sail far away
From this soul sucking town
If you would just stick around
I’m not here to bring you down
I’m here to show you the way
To a better day
As long as you’re willing
To be open
And I’ll listen to you
And everything
you’ve been through
Let’s make The life we have left
the best
And invest in one another
Instead of against each other
I know you read this
So it’s up to you
To come through
Don’t let the past remind us
Of what we are not now
Just you and me
And the cats 😉
L.M. I. L. Y.
L.M.L.K.C.
With my little furry friend
I know that whatever comes after this
will be alright
