stuck
inside
a room
for days
on repeat
the same day plays
over and over
no fresh air
day after day
going nowhere
the less i live
the less I care
Tag: kyoko cole
Listen to yourself
You know what you need
Listen to yourself
And feed
The starving parts of you
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space
heart space
room space
head space
my space
shared with a
head case
nowhere to go
no place
to move
I can’t breathe
I can’t face
it anymore
I try…
to make it better
I try
to make it okay-
to make it
just o.k.-
only to
have it not be
okay
only to have it
stay…
Just the same
or get even worse.
like a curse
I need to reverse
but I can’t
seem to –
get myself back
on track
when I have no space
to move
No space to breathe
no space to live
please just give
me a break
for god’s sake
at least be helpful
not harmful
be aware
and care
instead of just
always there
– always in my way.
please…
make it be better than just okay.
because every day
living this way-
is not living
it’s death-
at least tomorrow
*sigh*
is a new day
to try again.
-k.c.
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the end
I am alone
with my head
and my heavy heart
silent
and cold
why did you leave me this way?
why did you promise me you would always stay.
now I am left alone
with only these feelings
I get no response
no reply
from you
it’s like I’m not even here
like I’m invisible
not worth your time
and it hurts
it hurts so bad
to be ignored
and treated like
nothing.
nobody
when I was once somebody to you.
what can I do?
not a thing
but to go away.
and stay away.
you pushed me so far away from you
so far gone is where I’ll stay.
this is the only way
I won’t have to feel
this pain.
We
I am here
And you are there
But we are connected
Many many lifetimes
Of knowing
And waiting
But do you want me
Or do you just want me to be safe?
You got your life
And I have to wait
But I don’t think you want to wait
Around for me
I know what I want
But I have things I have to do
And people I can’t let down
And you have others
You want and must have around
I want a family
I want to truly be loved
seen
Felt
And understood
If you could feel my heart
You would know
But you only show
What you show
And I really don’t know
Where I fit into that
Maybe I’m dumb
Or blind
Or half blind
But I do know my heart feels something
Strong
For you
What do you want from me?
What do you have with others
What do we do?
It can’t only come from Me
Clearly
Speak
What is inside you
may your dreams be better than this
in a blink of an eye-
lash out
and about
face-
time-keeps on
ticking
TICKING
ticking
into
the futureless
loop
of hands that
wave high
and scoop low
and everything we think we know
has been wrong
as the grand finale
begins
this marks our end
this is our swan song
oh sing me a tune
one soft and sweet
a song where I
and the dreamworld meet
one that soothes me to slumber
and one that will promise to keep
me safe
from
the fall
of it all
and what is about to come.
-kyoko cole
miserableboy42
time for the tables to turn
it’s time for me to ignore
all that is you
cause all you seem to do
is find a reason
to make me wrong
so you can do what you do
and i’m not going to swallow that
shit you call love
when it’s all just abuse
i really loved you
and this is what you do
to me
who just wanted to be good to you
but even that
isn’t good enough for you
you look for any reason
to turn
what was true
into a lie
so you can do
whatever you want to do
you’d rather be right being wrong
the same ol’ story
your same old fucking song
it never mattered
how much or little
i give to you
the idea you have made up
in your wet drunken
sunken head
has killed my love
has left me mostly dead
instead of trust
you push and you push
until you bust
any good
that we had
some people love their misery
some people like being sad
and mad
and drunk
and sunk
and that someone is you
out to sea
this is you
but this ain’t me
your drowning
drowning in your own
sorrow
fucked up
and checked out
in your make believe
ugly world
that ain’t mine
this isn’t the time
to go down
to the hell
you call home
right fighter (serial killer)
murderer
sickness
I am sick
but you are cancer
you think you have the answer
to everything
which you do not know
even though
you know me better than most
here’s a toast
to you
and your ability to kill
at will
and still
think you’re right
even when you’ve lost sight
blind as a bat
scaredy cat
with your proverbiale claws out
but worse
cause you curse
everyone you love
in your “passive aggressive
fucked up
fuck you ”
kind of way
that ain’t kind at all
do you get off on watching others
that you think are guilty- fall?
and let me pose another question
for you
that i know you’ll never answer
cause you’re too busy building up your stupid wall
is there a slight chance
just maybe
quite possibly…
you could be wrong at all?
ha
NEVER! NOT YOU!
stand by your convictions
fight to be right
just to be right
can’t even acknowledge left
or that you could be wrong
same old story
same old UGLY SAD PATHETIC song
spread your ill
and kill
the ones who ever loved you
OFF
SO YOU CAN SAY
IN YOUR FUCKED UP HEAD
“at least i’m right”
detox
kiss kiss kiss
3 day of this
and I miss miss miss
you
but you have been somewhere else
far from me
far from you
far from here
for quite some time
every time I call you near
I’ve been talking to fear
you’ll save yourself at any cost
save yourself first at any cost
even if it means being lost
I’m lost
I call you near
in a trance
in a sleep dance
I call you near
but you never hear
even if you do
you’re not here
make your way
the years go by
so fast
warp speed
did I need…
all the crazy
all the bullshit???
I don’t understand
how so many years
have passed
in a flash of light
in the beat of a heart
sometimes I just want to go back
to back to the start
just yesterday
I was there
now I’m here
aged in the
age of lament
with all those years
and days
and moments
spent
with all the people
and places
and things
that went
along
now gone
time
the bittersweet
heartbreaker
what’s it all about
to be with
only then to be left without
it’s kind of a cruel joke
we are born
just to croak
all the pain and all the joy
we will never be here again
not like this
not this moment
not ever again
let the love in
let the bullshit go
you will miss this
you will miss
I miss it
more than you will ever know
skin loves fever 