let go
don’t fall to pieces
life still goes on
life’s colors haven’t faded
even if life gets you down
try not to let it make you jaded
just remember
you can’t hold on so tight
it’s not your fight tot fight
for what does not belong to you
it’s not that black and white
the layers
the players
constantly change
and rearrange
people come
people go
some people you never really know
someday we all will die
now is not the time to wonder why
say goodbye
don’t hold on
everything you love
some day will be gone
3:45 am Friday morning
Light another cigarette
Haven’t eaten in days
But I’m about to change my ways
Cause it ain’t no thing
This world is about to bring
Something true
Goodbye to everything cruel
I’m not yours
I’m not yours
I am not yours
I belong to me
What you failed to see
Was the real me
And I’m not yours
Sitting on my bed
With better thoughts in my head
Everything you said
Was a lie
Just enough to get by
So Bye bye
It’s not even about you.
Cause everything about you i thought I knew
Was untrue
Just like you were unkind
I’m replacing you in my heart and in mind
With good people
It’s almost 4 am
I got home from work
And then
Something made me see
Something made me be
Okay
Better than OK
I’m happy you decided to go away
Because that’s who you are
And at least now you’re far
From me
So I can be
With someone who deserves
My love
That will never give up
Cause I’m strong
I might be wrong
Sometimes
But I’m right about this
What’s there to miss?
When it was all fake
Someday many years from now
you’ll think of me
And your heart will break
And there will be nothing you can do
Because you akready did what you did
And I’ve rid myself of you
I’m living my life
Tonight people were kind
Made me smile
Helped me find
My way out
Of the mess you left behind
I have more important things to do
Than to be sad and waste my time
Being hurt by someone like you
You don’t know how to love
And I hope you learn
So you can be happy
And In turn
Give love
When things aren’t as easy as you want it to be
Superficial “love”
Just isn’t for me
Goodbye to you
Someone I never really knew
And now don’t care to ever know
Um happy to see you go
Run run run
I am officially done
the side people never show
even when you think you do
you never really know
someone
paintbrushes washed
in my clean and empty room
I feel sick
I feel stuck
I feel buried
inside my own tomb
I don’t know what to do
I’ll just pretend I’m okay
as each and every grueling day
slowly goes by
why?
why ?
I don’t want to die
but I don’t want to live.
I have nothing more
I want or have to give
just put me out of my misery
please
I don’t even want him back
after this
I just don’t want to feel
and I don’t want to miss
the little things
that made me so happy
like never before
but I don’t love anyone
who so easily walks out the door
without warning
without saying anything
that matters
after everything you said to me
that I thought mattered
like I thought you mattered
just put me out of my misery
I don’t care about love
I don’t care about having you
I don’t care that we are through
I don’t want to die
but I don’t want to live
I have nothing more
left to give
just put my out of my misery
do you hear me?
please.
put me out of my misery.
I don’t know how I feel
a box full of lies
memories of something wonderful
that didn’t really mean a thing
ice cold
people get old
I’m not okay
but what can you do
I wouldn’t want someone like you
if I knew everything could turn
with the flip of a switch
which
I should have done
to you
you don’t need care
you don’t need love
you need to learn
how to treat people
and you need to learn
how to work things through
not just to run away.
some day it will be you
and i hope it makes you a better person
I don’t care
you can stay
the way
you are
far from my love
that I wasted
on someone who just doesn’t really care
I need to be more aware
of people who say I love you
too much
to make up for
the little love they have
I’m glad it’s over
at least I know who you are now
instead of finding out years from now
you’re not a bad person
you just don’t know how to love
and follow through
and work through
the times when things get rough
you’re not tough
but neither am I
so all I can do is sit here
alone and allow myself to cry
over what I thought was real
and hopefully soon
I won’t feel
anything at all for you anymore
2022
You want to leave me
and i can’t argue
i can’t give you anything
that will make you feel
like you should stay
if you’ve already made you way
Out the door
like I’ve seen
many times before
you ever existed in my life
all i can do is cry
as the greatest part of me
continues to die
the end is near
i say words
that have no sound
that you will never hear
the fear
of losing
again
wins.
Sad girl
You sad girl
maybe you didn’t have much
But you met a man who loved you and gave you the world
And you fucked it up
like you always do
Everything you thought you knew
Now you see you know nothing
Give up
Give up
You sad girl
it’s time to give up
Like everyone else has given up on you
the short stick
how does it feel
with no time to say
no room to speak
place to stand
no ears to hear
silenced voice
only hear screams
lost and longing
fall through
in fevered dreams
how do you heal?
I don’t know
how to think
what I feel
what is real
what is fear
what to do
nothing is clear
what is okay
what is right
what is wrong
it’s getting hard
to stay strong
I don’t know how
to feel okay
how to be okay
how to play okay
just enough
to make it through a day
how do I know?
how do I learn
how do I stop
how do I turn
everything around
how to get up
after being pushed
and dragged down
get out of this trap
repair what is lost
fill in every gap?
shut down
no comfort
in speaking
I shut down
when there’s no care
to be aware
you can’t make someone care about
your hurt
your pain
everything I’ve ever love
goes away
but you don’t feel me
how can you feel
what you don’t take the time to feel
less and less time
and you have become comfortable
the truth ignored
I’m losing every sense where I came from
disconnected
and rejected
the child inside of me
is locked in the bathroom
drowning in the tub
my heart in the sink
I can’t make anyone feel me
I can’t make anyone think
I won’t make anyone do anything
they don’t want to do naturally
but I will remain locked inside the bathroom
alone
and have a good cry
as another part of me dies
remain lock in the bathroom
because it’s the only place I feel safe
I lost someone
who meant a lot to me
when I was a child
the two people who created me
were never there
I have no sense of family
that died a long time ago
the only think I know
is people come
and always go
the people who made me
I can’t trust
I don’t really know
made me
feel rejected
replaced
and erased
that’s all they ever show
no one will keep you safe
it’s okay to lock yourself in the bathroom
let the water run
so no one can hear the cries
it’s okay to pretend not to notice
as another piece of you dies
Not sad…
I think today I just needed more
And everyday
It feels like less and less
I think I’m gonna just expect
This
Amount
Alone
And
Not want
Not ask
Not expect
Not pursue
Anything
More
Than what someone
Gives naturally.
I tried to communicate this
I did communicate This
My lesson
Is for me
To not want
Need
Anything
More
From anyone
And to give less
Fucks
Because
I don’t need anything
Or anyone….
People give more when they want more
Not when someone else actually needs it
We are all just selfish little creatures
Little monsters
Another xanex
To force myself to fall asleep
Cause I’m not tired
But I wish I was
I’d rather sleep
Than to feel this
I’d rather feel nothing
Than to feel this
Goodnight
mother
I wish you could know
how my heart feels
I can’t tell you how to be
you only see what you want to see
and you don’t see me
I can’t tell you how I feel
you never cared to listen
you don’t want to hear
you don’t feel me
I came from you
but you were already a million miles away
I have no connection to you
I have no connection to the man who helped you make me too
you never wanted me
I always wanted and needed you
but I know now
you are no mother to me
so now I’ve got to set you free
…
goodbye
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