I guess
You no longer
Love me
Anymore
So
Long
…
It doesn’t get much easier
Sitting here
Trying to have fun
While inside I’m dying
Missing…
You
I don’t think I’ll find another
That made me feel the way you do
Did
And I try so hard
To rid
Myself
Of the memory of you
What do you do when the one you love doesn’t love you?
Nothing. You can’t do anything
But slowly die.
How they make you feel and what you can do about it.
Source: 8 Things the Most Toxic People in Your Life Have in Common
It’s not all about me
It’s about you too
You live to destroy anything good that I give you
You never look at yourself.
Must be nice living that way
That’s not advanced
That’s pussy-ass shit
If you looked at your behavior even just half the times you’ve made me look at mine then maybe it would work…
But like I said you create problems that aren’t there
And you like to destroy shit that’s actually good.
So I have no more for you.
No more patience
No more understanding
No more chances
No more tolerance for you period
And no more love
I’m done
And you need to stay the fuck away from me. Period
You want to treat me like a bitch then i will be one.
Good riddance you stupid little man.
I loved you more than anyone
I would have done anything for you if you just believed in me
But you didn’t even want to try
To show me something a little better
You couldn’t even show me love and now
I just never want to see your face again
this desire
bottles full of memories
I struggle with the world
without you love
substances find problems
your fear finds misunderstanding
your fear keeps you away
and there’s nothing I can do
to change that
.
time is an island
deserted and alone
afraid to be forgotten
trying to survive
why must the wind
be so harsh?
the fallen
leaves
dance
on.
abandon
walls.
suicide without being able
to die
you take the path
of habit
devils and wolves
hijacked you
and your love
it really doesn’t matter now…
does it?
impossible to
get through
to you.
you got what
you wanted.
me removed.
i give up
and turn away
And stay
That way
On the path that
No longer leads to you.
2018
“Sometimes it’s like someone took a knife, baby
Edgy and dull and cut a six inch valley
Through the middle of my skull
At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
And a freight train running through the middle of my head
Only you can cool my desire
Oh oh oh, I’m on fire”
-Bruce Springsteen
Anger
Outrage
Mean and hurtful words
Name calling
Expecting more
Then they’re willing to give
Doesn’t know the meaning of loving someone unconditionally
Changes the rules to fit whatever works for them and then only
Lies
Threatens
Doesn’t follow through
Abusive
Blames
Ignores
Is unfair
Is unkind
Is mean
Is untrustworthy with actions words and behavior
Unable to see themselves the way others do
Unable to go get professional help
No self control over the things that actual need it
No appreciation for peoples time she effort and feelings.
Abandons never says sorry
Is inconsistent in everything said and done
And I’m not the only one
Who has felt
His crazy
Delilusionsal side.
His games
His excuses
His childish ways
Get old
…..
Talking with a friend today
About this
And she said everything a already no know.
He’s just no good
Because HE chooses to be no good
Not because he’s around women that only see the bad but because they actually sees his bad. And there’s a lot.
He would always threaten me with dating someone else or how he could get someone better or with some other loser chicks naked pics on his phone.
And there’s so much more
Why would I ever want to be with him.
Yeah maybe his good side was good and we had great times
But that never lasted.
The last time he went off on me was because I was at work and I texted him. He didn’t reply so I went home to get some things I needed for the next day and he got pissed and told me not to go over cause he was at some urge girls house (which was A lie- I think but who fucking knows)
Theb he called me the worst things imaginable.
All one day after saying to each other we were going to start all over and let the past be the past and not get so angry and vengeful.
I tried all I could for the next day
Only to have him NOT TRY AT ALL
More name calling
More games
More anger
More lies
And I sill tried
So if he ever wonders why
I’m no longer here
It’s cause no one would put up with that kind of abusive behavior
Why would I want to?
It’s shit
And someone much better for me
Will show me much more than he
Could ever show
I don’t want someone who doesn’t even care
To grow
As a person in the best ways he can
He is a sad and lonely man
Who had my love
Until he kept fucking it up
And not he has nothing of me
And I ain’t ever going back
He’s too old to actually change.
And I don’t give a fuck
Cause I know that my love was true
And everyone knows he just took me for granted
Like he does with so many other things
I’m sick
I’m sick
And i don’t need someone so stupid and blind
WHO CAN NEVER ADMIT HIS FAULTS OR WHEN HE’S WRONG
Who would actually want that kind of a “man ”
I’m better off taking a Chance on someone new
Anything is better than him
Ugh
-kc
(Everything you were afraid of
Is now coming true
Thanks to you)
I thought I would be done with this blog.
But I was wrong.
I’m wrong sometimes.
Tonight I just don’t know what this life is all about.
I’m sitting in a bar
Waiting for a man that will never come.
Ha!
What can I do?
I can swear on everything that’s means anything
I can shout it from the mountain tops
How much I love you
I’m on your side.
But i still am here alone
And it’s okay
I get used to the pain
I guess we all do
I want the best
But it doesn’t matter if I’m the only one who does.
I just breathe
And just allow it
Cause I can fight for love
And. Lose.
And it would just suck more
So I have to love the best parts of us
And hold that in my heart
And just go on
The best way I can.
Try to think about it
As if you were me
And you would be spent and hopeless too.
You want me gone
Your wish is your command
You had many opportunities
To be different
To change
But you didn’t
You had many chances
You didn’t take
I told you
What you chose to ignore
This is not a poem about you
This nothing more than than
A retirement
A white flag
A last note
To myself
I tried
But it was effort put in to the wrong thing
If I put that effort
In the right thing
I would have been okay
It would have been better
I would have made it
I would have seen the good
I can’t fix what is so far broken
Broken before me
And only there to break me now
Not to do me any good
I can’t win in a situation set up
For me to fail.
You win
You can be ” happy” without me
I will give you no more love
I will give you no more time
I will disappear just like you want
These words I write aren’t meant for your eyes
Cause you do not exist
I do not exist
You made it this way
And I am no longer here for you
One- on- one mixed-media art lessons in Los Angeles
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I spend a lot of time pondering what it all means.
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where would it flow...
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Tales From The Life Of A Soul
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