bad relationship – skin loves fever

waiting out the days

Don’t want to scream and shout
but I can’t seem to figure it out
I feel like half a person
a big hole in soul
a big hole in my heart
when I reach out to you
you just tear me more apart

and I wish I was better
maybe better off dead
I let myself go through it
be in it
just to get you out of my head.

it’s so easy for you to be mean
hide behind your smoke screen
if you ever loved me
if you ever cared
I can’t tell
I’m not well
you love seeing me down
you love putting me through hell

and I wish I was happy
maybe I’d be better off dead
I have to get through this
be in this
just to shed you from my head

I know things will get easier
time heals
or so they say
but right now
I’m all kinds of broken
-just waiting out the days

until I’m okay again

Photo by Tuesday Temptation on Pexels.com

Above is a great journal to help you get through a breakup. Sometimes keeping a record of how you feel and what you’re going through day by day can help you better understand yourself and be more self-aware. It also can help you be aware of unhealthy patterns and habits.

the feeling is gone

in a dream
you were there
and it was the same you
angry
abusive
loud
mean
explosive
but in my dream it didn’t bother me
it made me uncomfortable and uneasy
I said goodbye to you
and I didn’t feel anything
when I woke up
I didn’t care no longer cared
I no longer had love for you
I rarely think anyone is a waste of time
but you really wasted my time-
and I wish I would have saw you
the way you really are before the years of effort and abuse
I don’t care if you hate me
I don’t care if you forget me
you gave me nothing to hold onto
nothing to miss
nothing good to want back again…
except for myself

8 Things the Most Toxic People in Your Life Have in Common

How they make you feel and what you can do about it.

Source: 8 Things the Most Toxic People in Your Life Have in Common

Amateurs (don’t take things or this so seriously)

thirteen ways to kill your lover
a hundred and one ways to die

Thirteen ways

To kill your lover

A hundred and one ways to die

It pays

To be

Cemented in your ways

Or does is pay to be

Wild in the streets

Like a wild card

Jump up jump around
New York girls

Are too hip

As they hop

To the top

of the Empire state building

Which I don’t care to ever climb

A Hot house
As Cold

As your unbearable heart

Finish what you start, you say

As everything slowly starts to shift

Deterioration, they said

Right before it was dead

It was everything that ever was

That is not a thing any more

That couple over there

Kindly lent their owner

To the dogs

Frequencies are
Less frequently

Felt in the air

The less we care

The more we

Dread

The dead

That’s a coming

Round the bend

So buckle up partner

It’s coming to the end

The perfect partner

Of An imperfect pair

Doesn’t dare

Taunt

The electronic wizard

The human lizard

But will haunt

The Spirit hunter

And the Catholic priest

Who will soon sit down

For the mighty feast

And break some bread

And both get fed

The last supper

Is a coming soon

Blasted allegories
Blast past noon

You are Not there

In the making

the making that never was

Was never there within you

Take me to the river

Drown me in the water

Let it cover me up

And Let my body sink low

The more you say

The less you know

Misleading

Misreadings

Draw on you now

Like the raise of an arm

And the hand that signals the alarm

To wake up

Wake up

WAKE THE FUCK UP

Before it’s too late

wait it already is …

-kyoko cole 2017

Cut #5423

Whatever is right or wrong
There is no right or wrong of that
Way back when
You can’t rehash over shit that is so far gone in days
And so far drunk is haze
That memory does nothing
To separate the days
And fact becomes fiction.
fiction becomes fable
And You and i
are not very able
To bring any good out of that
Which is not
That important
when it comes down to the grind
When we fight about past shit
I start to fucking lose my mind
And it brings me back to a time
I can’t comprehend
And all I want is for this to end
Please end
The only way to get over something is to get yourself through
The thing that most of us forever avoid
And after cut #5423
And maybe a half
I can only just sit back
Look at at what I’ve done to myself (again) and laugh
Not funny ha ha
Not funny hee hee
But not ever quite sane
Stuck in a loop
Of wax and wane
Over and over and over again

How many scars do I have to gain?
To see how much of myself I’ve lost.
At such a cost
All because of me
All because of we and me.

The bathroom Is no longer my safe place
Anymore
I guess it never really was before
Just cause I could lock the door
Doesn’t mean u could get out
Not something safe.
And neither are any of you