This morning, I realized I deserve genuine love, not just crumbs. I’m done with one-sided relationships and embracing my worth while healing and learning.
I woke up this morning and something shifted.
For most of my life, love has felt like something I had to earn. I learned early on that relationships were conditional. I realized that affection wasn’t guaranteed. If I wanted to be kept around, I had to give more. I had to try harder and be easier. That belief didn’t come from nowhere. It came from what I grew up with, and it followed me into every relationship I’ve known.
So I’m honest with myself now. I’ve accepted one-sided relationships because they felt familiar. I’ve stayed where effort was minimal and connection was inconsistent. I’ve poured into people who offered me just enough to keep me hoping. I’ve mistaken breadcrumbs for care and potential for reality.
And it has hurt. More than I’ve wanted to admit.
Lately, I’ve been letting myself really feel that pain instead of pushing past it. I’m acknowledging the sadness, the frustration, the quiet humiliation of wanting more and pretending I didn’t. I’m not judging myself for it anymore. I’m starting to understand how deeply this pattern has affected my emotional health, and how much it’s shaped the way I see myself.
I’ve been looking back at my relationships, all of them, and the pattern is impossible to ignore now. The imbalance. The way I do most of the emotional work. The way I show up fully while being met halfway or not at all. The way I feel wanted mostly when someone wants something from me. Sex. Validation. To feel desired. To feel better about themselves.
Sitting with that truth hasn’t been easy. It’s lonely. It brings up parts of me that feel unwanted and replaceable. But I’m staying with those parts instead of abandoning them. I’m letting the discomfort exist without rushing to fill the space with another person or another excuse.
I’m doing the work, even though it hurts like hell. I’m writing. I’m talking. I’m sitting in the quiet. I’m grieving not just the people. I’m grieving the versions of relationships I believed would show up eventually. I thought they would if I was patient enough or good enough. Letting go of that hope is painful, but it’s also honest.
As I do this, something is changing. I’m becoming more aware of myself in real time. I notice when I start to minimize my needs. I catch the moments where I want to accept less just to feel chosen. That awareness feels heavy, but it also feels like power returning to me.
I’m learning to accept people as they are, not as I wish they could be. And that acceptance is doing something important. It’s making it impossible to keep lying to myself. When someone shows little effort, I notice it. When consistency is missing, I recognize it. When I’m left doing all the work, it becomes clear to me. And seeing it clearly changes what I’m willing to tolerate.
I’m starting to understand that wanting someone means showing up. It means effort. It means care that doesn’t disappear when things get inconvenient. And I’m realizing I don’t want relationships that only exist when someone wants something from me. I don’t want crumbs. I don’t want to be an option or a convenience.
This morning, I wake up and I can feel the shift. It’s subtle, but it’s real. I don’t feel the same pull toward what hurts me. I don’t feel the same urge to chase or explain or prove my worth. That doesn’t mean the work is done. It means the work is working.
I’m reclaiming my time and my energy, even as I’m still figuring out how. I’m turning back toward myself. Toward what grounds me. Toward people and spaces that feel mutual. I’m reminding myself, over and over, that I am worthy of love that is genuine and reciprocal.
Today feels like the start of something new. It’s not because everything is healed. It’s because something inside me has finally shifted. I no longer want one-sided relationships. I no longer want to beg for effort. I want connections where I’m met, not managed.
This is me, in the middle of it. Still healing. Still learning. Still choosing myself. And today, that choice feels real.
“Like a bright light, you inspire and deserve love. Your spirit brings joy and hope. Know your worth; you deserve support for your dreams.”
In a world of familiar faces, he stands out—a rare, warm soul whose connection sparks newfound emotions, challenging me to rethink love and discover inner peace amidst chaos.
he’s someone I never imagined would consider someone like me, a hidden whisper maybe I’ve been too blinded to perceive or too settled in cycles, tricked to believe I’ve had my share of the same old pain too many players dancing in the rain yet he stands apart, a mirror, a chance so alike in spirit, but a different dance he embodies warmth, unlike all the rest caring, kind, in ways I’ve never guessed when we touch, the world fades away it’s a spark I thought I’d never display what flows for him is deeper than ink and his open heart makes me stop and think the way he shows he cares is a rare release igniting the best within, where I find my peace.
I’ve been in love and I’ve lost it too but I never expected to ever love you I gave you a lot I gave you me but it made me blind too blind to see
that you were somebody i was better off not to know quickly we were so close only to have you just as quickly go
away.
and that is how I want you to stay
away.
you don’t appreciate what we had so I would not want you to stay anyway
it’s better this way it’s better this way
too much baggage you carry you can’t put down why would anyone really want to stick around when you can’t and you won’t and you don’t you jumped right back out when you’re not even close to being ready or steady enough to be where there is people looking for something and someone real you only care about what you see and how YOU feel not how others feel you need to take alone to heal YOU before you try to find someone else you’re not ready for when you aren’t looking for something more from someone else but you lead them on I’m happy you are gone and I’m happy to not be anything with you (nothing with you) anymore
the end.
I’ve experienced the pain of love and loss, and I never anticipated feeling the way I did for you. I gave my all, but it blinded me to the truth. Sometimes, it’s better not to know someone, especially when they come into your life only to leave just as quickly. It’s okay for you to stay away, as I realize now that you never truly appreciated our relationship. It’s for the best. You carry too much baggage and aren’t ready for something real. Take time for yourself before leading others on. I’m content that you’re no longer part of my life. The end.
Check out the link below for some amazing books that will help you feel better after a breakup or the ending of a relationship, or just to help you improve the way you feel about yourself..
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I don’t need your love besides you do not know what love really is I am not bitter I am not sad I am not mad I accept that you are not capable of loving and caring for another human being. you are not able to take the bad but you will take the good and that’s not how it works. we all have our bad and good. true care and love understands this. it’s not easy. but everyone wants it to be easy how weak is that? you get hurt and you give up well we all get hurt but some of us don’t give up the ones who are able to see our own difficult selves are the ones who are able to deal with other people’s difficulties. the ones who can’t see themselves get hurt and give up. they are weak and quite stupid. the beauty is not giving up on someone who has always tried to be there for you giving up on people who never ignore you the way that you ignore them is why you lose. you lose you have made the choice to ignore someone who would have always had your back for what? fear. lack of patience lack of care lack of love
well I accept you for you but I would never want to lose out on someone or something great out of fear that sometimes with great things comes great pain but in the same respect comes great love love you will never know beyond shallow surface levels
I have dealt with some of the worst of you and the best of you and all you see is the worst in me not even acknowledging that I have dealt with the worst in you and still give you love and appreciation
you have pushed me away I am good and I loved you will all of my heart.
all the times you have ignored me has only made you lose you are not living you are waiting for things to die you’re perfectly okay with saying goodbye before its time what a waste of the life we have left
Don’t want to scream and shout but I can’t seem to figure it out I feel like half a person a big hole in soul a big hole in my heart when I reach out to you you just tear me more apart
and I wish I was better maybe better off dead I let myself go through it be in it just to get you out of my head.
it’s so easy for you to be mean hide behind your smoke screen if you ever loved me if you ever cared I can’t tell I’m not well you love seeing me down you love putting me through hell
and I wish I was happy maybe I’d be better off dead I have to get through this be in this just to shed you from my head
I know things will get easier time heals or so they say but right now I’m all kinds of broken -just waiting out the days
Above is a great journal to help you get through a breakup. Sometimes keeping a record of how you feel and what you’re going through day by day can help you better understand yourself and be more self-aware. It also can help you be aware of unhealthy patterns and habits.
skin loves fever 
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