kyoko – Page 5 – skin loves fever

detox

kiss kiss kiss
3 day of this
and I miss miss miss
you
but you have been somewhere else
far from me
far from you
far from here
for quite some time
every time I call you near
I’ve been talking to fear
you’ll save yourself at any cost
save yourself first at any cost
even if it means being lost
I’m lost
I call you near
in a trance
in a sleep dance
I call you near
but you never hear
even if you do
you’re not here

make your way

the years go by
so fast
warp speed
did I need…
all the crazy
all the bullshit???
I don’t understand
how so many years
have passed
in a flash of light
in the beat of a heart
sometimes I just want to go back
to back to the start
just yesterday
I was there
now I’m here
aged in the
age of lament
with all those years
and days
and moments
spent
with all the people
and places
and things
that went
along
now gone
time
the bittersweet
heartbreaker

what’s it all about
to be with
only then to be left without
it’s kind of a cruel joke
we are born
just to croak

all the pain and all the joy
we will never be here again
not like this
not this moment
not ever again
let the love in
let the bullshit go

you will miss this
you will miss
I miss it
more than you will ever know

Crow for dinner?

burnt my two fingers

Burnt

Two fingers

Dry lips

Make Papers stick

As fingers slide down

I ash all over myself

So not myself .

Or maybe this is really

Who I am.

God damn

Albatross

Knuckle under

Kneel over

Found myself down

Seems like a lot has

kicked me around

To the ground

Where I’ve already been

But now

The difference is

I don’t care

To speak up

To say how I feel

To any of you

Who fake being real

What good does it do

If people aren’t true

It doesn’t.

Another night locked up

In a bathroom

In a cell

In this self created hell

Alone

And not feeling so well

Alone

But Not feeling all that bad

Actually feeling somewhat glad

Water from the faucet

Water down the drain

I’m done with you

I’m done with pane (yes I spelled that right)

Want to start a fight

No thanks

The hour is getting late

Not worth the wait

Take one for the road

and I also took off

This heavy load

Without a voice

But that is by choice

My choice

Is now

To rejoice

In putting an end

to every useless fairweather friend

I didn’t want or ever need

I’ve already started planting new seeds

Of change

And I am happier right now

than I have ever been.

Time to allow

Only the best things in

another day passes

take another drink
to sink
your mind into
out of the blue
and into the black
just another
sick attack
just another
thing to stack
on top of
all the other
challenges
and
obstacles
I don’t want to understand
but I do
but can’t you stop
and see me
like I see you
tummy churns
and the heart burns
I die a little more
every time
it goes
and blows
a little more
away
all the things I try
but fail
to say
that you
don’t hear
don’t care to listen to
anyway
why do you make me feel this
fucked up way
I’m not okay

once again

late night walk –
around the block
or two
or ten
in my head
thinking brain
monkey brain
feeling lame
feeling lost
feeling
too much feeling
gotta get out
of this
of it
and I know
that someday I will
but still
until
the day I do
I’m here on this walk
with the talk talk talk
back and forth
like ping pong
right and wrong
repeat song
inside my head
from me to me
and I to I
going through and through
the suck
stuck
fuck
of thoughts
and feels
journey through the
rat race
space inside my face
a trip of fools
or this trip of fool
singular
me

bucket o’ love

I could use
a day or two
of something old
mixed with someone new
or visa versa-
I would love
to see some good
if I should
grow and change
and rearrange
the fiction-
diction
that plays
in my head
that repeats
old things
some-dumb-body
has said
some time
before I learned
when
and what
to take in
and when
and what
crap to ignore.
I am me
and me
wants to be
okay
every day
and have things go my way
because my way
is with love.

-k.c.

can’t sleep

I was vulnerable
I let my guard down
with you
even though I’ve been hurt before
you were so scared to hurt again
yet here I am
and I don’t know why
I’m so tired
but I can’t sleep
knowing that you’re right there
and I’m here
but we are so far apart

why do I even try?
maybe that is the reason why…
I am here again.

-k.c.

the feeling is gone

in a dream
you were there
and it was the same you
angry
abusive
loud
mean
explosive
but in my dream it didn’t bother me
it made me uncomfortable and uneasy
I said goodbye to you
and I didn’t feel anything
when I woke up
I didn’t care no longer cared
I no longer had love for you
I rarely think anyone is a waste of time
but you really wasted my time-
and I wish I would have saw you
the way you really are before the years of effort and abuse
I don’t care if you hate me
I don’t care if you forget me
you gave me nothing to hold onto
nothing to miss
nothing good to want back again…
except for myself

into the trees

lovers
you look empty
the love
might just change like lies

the changes catch
unborn truth
the voices speak just like you
the trace of silence
was real
with this feeling
from the last moment
without knowing
all you need
the lonely
-after hour anxiety
some little bugs eat
you ask one question
and hide before it can get to you

child distract him
absolutely invisible
there were cries
waiting for the night
the scent collects
but here this idea comes
and you need sleep and affection
so here it gets lost
the only fatality
made forgetting more melancholy
not sudden and nothing happened
this sinking evil illusion
life disappears
the voice here
never existed
this false face
tears softly and challenges
the real

all eyes had felt
your denial
this useless existence
away with the night

you who come from the dark-
unusual
into this light-
strange
your love
was enough
above the sky
you can see
that this is the end
whispering time
hear the word
hear our language
a sudden
taste of
mystic too
many must look
not dwell
under the fall
without the curtain
glow like you

purple would have understood
the holding hand
the mouth both interested and obsessed
for you
the black was still light
this face and soul the same
everything around you
faded and
remained

slippery
love
shake you out
out
out
this was absolutely different
your heart vibrations smile
flames from the body
will not be tamed
they are beautiful
lovely but cursed
as you
find them new meaning
I’ll remind you
of my kisses
and continue life mute

-kyoko cole

night sights and sounds

dark fever growl
you scream and howl
wild by night
I lose sight.
Where did you go?
something I may never know
or most likely I already do

I sit and watch
sleepless nights
fall over me.

I wish I had the feel
I feel too much
I don’t feel at all
I wonder which one
is real.

-Kyoko Cole

moonquake

whispers fade
a wounded wolf calls out
heaven and hell in my heart
never apart
glowing moon again
waits
a sparrow weeps
eyes glisten on my face
with a trace
of joy
luminous comforts
broken hearts beat
and meet
the mocking bird in my room
soft
still remorseful
gray clouds
pails of tears spill
ferris wheels go round and round
can you feel it still?