skin loves fever

All things must die

“Weed me

Or feed me.”

Says the grass in the back yard

“you don’t need me anymore”

And I sit and smoke my cigarette

And I think to myself

The grass has a point

Spoiled little child

Just another day

just another miss

Miss Take

Or don’t

I’m A

Mistake

I am

Miss break

And I am broken

I am

Miss and diss

Just Dismiss

This

Miss and

Miss me later

Too late or never

you have already dismissed me

After you pulled me in

and I don’t even know where to begin

Again

So I won’t

After so many times

I’ve been hurt like this before

I can’t take any more

As you continue to just carelessly ignore

who trusted in you

to not fuck with my heart

To not tear it apart

But you did it anyways

But I can’t make you understand

You don’t

And you won’t

Until you the day you do

But I won’t be there

To hold your hand

Or to understand you

And until that day

You’ll go on living

Without having a clue

Your music suffers cause

You have not

You don’t know anything about pain

About struggle

About love

About what it means

To die inside

While your body

Is still alive

But that’s all I have ever known

And I shared that with you

And all you did was

Use me

And treat me like someone who didn’t matter enough

To keep around

Kicked me down

Like trash

If you don’t feel me now

Just wait

Cause you will.

But it will be too late

We can reach

I can’t

Stand

Being

Without.

You

make me

Feel

something

Whole

I wish

Could

Stop

Time

Space

And age

And this

Stage

I’m in

I don’t know where

To even begin

Again

Cause I want

Everything

I can’t have

Right now

Right here

But I fear

Too?

Much

And I fear

Nothing at all

I could watch

It all fall

And be fine in the end

But in the end

I’d be alone

Like really alone

And I don’t

Want that.

Give me a sign

Give me the call

Give me your all

Let me know

That I’m something

You know.

You want.

And not some thing

You don’t know

Balls deep you creep

You can play hard ball

Pool

Baseball

Balls in

Balls deep

But you keep that shit

Away from me

Icky

Sticky

Dicky

Fuck

Yuck

I would have never

Go back

To that

Place

With your face

That lies

Like it’s a sport

ABORT!!!

AND I’M OUT…..

(Mic drop)

Time has come today

I relized something today

I can want you in my life

And I would have you

Make space and time for you

And it doesn’t matter to you

If I’m a part of your life

You could take me or leave me

One way or the other

It’s not that important to you

And yeah it hurts

But then I think

That you are just who you are

And maybe there’s never been anything or anyone important enough to you for you to make the effort to try

And I mean really try to give yourself fully to one thing. One person. To love from a place without the fear of what may happen or the fear of what will happen sometimes. To give full allowance to the fact that maybe you might get hurt. But maybe not. And what If not. What if after the difficult times and momentary struggles ( which is all we focus on when we’re struggling instead of looking at all the good stuff)… What if it was really amazing? Amazing cause you took the time and care and love and really got to know the other person and learn to accept each other and love each other and deal with each other on a whole new level.

Without fear

Without judgements or inaccurate beliefs about the other person who we judge because we don’t fully understand them

Maybe there’s never been anything worth it to you to want to keep around.

But what if people really loved and cared enough about each other to just try when it’s not easy. To love when the person is hard to love yet they need it the most. Showing trust and giving trust and being completely honest and open. Not everyone is the same so why do we expect everyone to know and feel what you feel and judge

Maybe giving ourselces to something fully is the answer. Not half assed. Not always having one foot out the door. Ready to give up ready to leave. What if the answer is commiting ourselves to someone or something fully…knowing it’s not always gonna be fun or easy and being okay, ready and willing for that.

Maybe we would find the most amazing thing you’ve ever known

Cause we took the time and effort dedication in someone or something to actually know

You can tell me you’re not afraid of anything

But clearly we all are

Give someone that loves you the chance to be who they really are

Teach them to grow through love

Tell them they matter and that you love them.

Make them feel loved and safe and show them that you are someone they can trust by being trustworthy.

That’s how we change the world

Give love when someone needs it

And accept the love that person gives

Show love and others will show love back.