“What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke
Tag: loneliness
nothing missing
Woke up the morning and I missed you more than ever.
Now I’m trying to put you down
Erase you
Replace you
Forget
Reject
Disinfect
Eject
You
from
me
But I know
That
it’s never quite that easy
or maybe it is
cause it is
nothing now
and so
live like it’s nothing
and love like it never was
out on the weak-end
i wake up this morning
and feel it more than ever
nothing new
just much stronger now
and it runs much deeper
i know there’s nothing for me here
and all the reasons why
have become very clear
the end is near
-kc
“gun-shy” by grizzly bear
The sky keeps staring at me
Frozen in my tracks
(Nothing else to see)
And when I move my face left
You’re always standing there
(A shadow I can’t see)
And even then I can’t trace
You’re walking awayI put my ears to the ground
Always pushing down
(Nothing I can hear)
I found the worst half in me
We’re cut off at the knees
(Can’t even take a stand)
Against your words and beliefs
We didn’t wanna freeze(All of the years, leaving me here
Gun-shy)
I don’t want to say it all again (the pain, losing my aim)
Never seem to see
(And why?) Do I always feel it all the same
The blisters in my eyes
(Recite) A guide that has only led me stray
And even as I limp (you smile)The cold keeps tearing at me
Slowing down my blood
(Unable to speak)
I left my mind long ago
Choosing some false
(Always letting go)
And when I try to face you
You’re walking away(All of the years, leaving me here
Gun-shy)
I don’t want to say it all again (the pain, losing my aim)
Never seem to see
(And why?) Do I always feel it all the same
The blisters in my eyes
(Recite) A guide that has only led me stray
And even as I limp (you smile)Â
left like dead
patterns darkly bragging
ink vanishes as the viper gleams
unchained reflections reflect
upon nights lonely kill
grimly, sad and clear
venomous pain sags heavy
down the heart beat and heart broken
unwanted
no love
no time
no effort for the dead
truth lies in blood streams of screams
shadows that flee warmly, crazy
the cold resurrection barks
machine gun round of stammer
gutless gypsies rain down
abandoned love floats helpless
somewhere
nowhere
unwanted
the bewildering black
illuminates dark
Â
3 am visit
I love the nights
Where someone
You love
Loves you back
And
Shows you something
You needed to learn
needed to know
needed to remember
About yourself
About life
about love
And it fills that empty space in your heart
That you couldn’t fill on your own
That you almost believed would never be filled
It’s nights like tonight
That make me love more
I am truly grateful for the people who love me and who take the time and the care to show me the loving way.
I learn so much more from living out through the heart
Than living in my head.
pale shelter
inside your song
i can hear you speak
to me
and you say
all of the things
you could
you would
never say to me
otherwise
without something to hide your truth behind
without some way to mask what you really feel
the only truth i get from you is presented as a lie
hidden
inside behind between
and in plain sight
in between words
or are creeping inside a melody
it is there
i can feel it
i can hear it
i can taste it
i can see it
it says more
than you know
under a soft voice –
how you feel
and think
SCREAMS AT ME
and
makes me
feel
unwanted uncomfortable
and unsure if you even like me at all
we all hide behind something some time
we all are hidden sometimes
but if you’re hiding
something you dislike in me
enough to show me passive agressively
then i take it
like it is
which is that you don’t want me to stick around
i can’t keep loving
someone who isn’t truly loving back
show what you mean and mean what you show
more than or equal to what you say
Adams for peace
“If you’re frightened of dyin and you’re holding on…Youll see devils tearing your life away.But…if youve made your peace,Then the devila are really angelsFreeing you from the earth…..from the earth….from the earth”
Tonight’s show was beautiful
But it made me realize
This whole thing isn’t for me.
I don’t belong here
skin loves fever 
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