kiss kiss kiss
3 day of this
and I miss miss miss
you
but you have been somewhere else
far from me
far from you
far from here
for quite some time
every time I call you near
I’ve been talking to fear
you’ll save yourself at any cost
save yourself first at any cost
even if it means being lost
I’m lost
I call you near
in a trance
in a sleep dance
I call you near
but you never hear
even if you do
you’re not here
burnt my two fingers
Burnt
Two fingers
Dry lips
Make Papers stick
As fingers slide down
I ash all over myself
So not myself .
Or maybe this is really
Who I am.
God damn
Albatross
Knuckle under
Kneel over
Found myself down
Seems like a lot has
kicked me around
To the ground
Where I’ve already been
But now
The difference is
I don’t care
To speak up
To say how I feel
To any of you
Who fake being real
What good does it do
If people aren’t true
It doesn’t.
Another night locked up
In a bathroom
In a cell
In this self created hell
Alone
And not feeling so well
Alone
But Not feeling all that bad
Actually feeling somewhat glad
Water from the faucet
Water down the drain
I’m done with you
I’m done with pane (yes I spelled that right)
Want to start a fight
No thanks
The hour is getting late
Not worth the wait
Take one for the road
and I also took off
This heavy load
Without a voice
But that is by choice
My choice
Is now
To rejoice
In putting an end
to every useless fairweather friend
I didn’t want or ever need
I’ve already started planting new seeds
Of change
And I am happier right now
than I have ever been.
Time to allow
Only the best things in
I wish I could forget
Eject you from my brain
And heart
Erase my memory of you
Until you become somebody new
Or better yet you won’t become anything at all
It’s not fair that you can forget me
And I cannot ever forget you
I’m listening to Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier Glynn, narrated by Susan Forward, Kathleen Gati, Julia Whelan, Cherise Boothe, David Atlas on my Audible app. Try Audible and get it here: https://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B00EOXMXT0&source_code=ASSORAP0511160006
From his bed
I stare at him
His eyes closed and his face beautiful
It’s all so new
But I know that this is love
I won’t say the words to him yet
I won’t even say the words out loud
To myself
Because I’m enjoying the feel
Of this feeling I almost forgot was possible
But I know
This is love
Because of the way
He looks at me
The way he makes me feel
The way
I am and the way I want to be
It’s easy to love him
It’s easy to give him love
And I want to give him more
he appreciates it
He gives love back
He doesn’t make me feel bad or insecure
Like so many others do and have before
He makes me feel alive
I am born again
And all the hurt and pain of the past
Disappears when we touch
I know it’s love
Because I give him all I have
Without compromising myself
And I want to give him everything…
he gives
And expects nothing in return
He is kind and gentle
understanding and sweet
He makes me feel loved
And taken care of
Because he wants to
Oh the funny fuzzy fizzy feel
Excites every fiber of my being
In between kisses
And miles
And in between the sheets
He brings warmth
And laughter
And many smiles
I know it’s love
Even though it’s too new to say out loud
It’s love
Because he is
And I am
And we are
both
Together
Under the moonlight
In the sunshine
In the middle of all the crazy
Confusing World we live in
We are magic
like children are magic
Full of love and shining light
All over this very dark and lonely place
Paper plates
And landscapes
Rain drops too
And morning dew
All of the things
that remind me of you
Won’t leave me alone
Won’t go away
But I can’t keep you
If you don’t want to stay
the dead and I
Won’t go our separate ways
But you do
it’s easy too
Nothing ever sticks to you
You just move along
Without a care
One day here
Next day there
Somewhere
(nowhere?)
Someplace else
With someone else
You’ll never know
How it feels
to watch you go
You’ll never know
How it feels
To feel this low
Hoping this time
will be
The last time
Limited distractions
A force to reflect
All the things we normally forget
Looking back
I don’t look with the same heart or with the same head
mainly because
my love for you is dead
At the hands of you
At the hands of you
So you didn’t get away
No sir
Now With a better view
A clear realistic look at you
I wouldn’t want you to stay
I wouldn’t even consider it
Besides You never did much for me anyway.
It wasn’t me
It was you
That tried to make me pay
For your distorted view
How much better it would have been
If you cared and dared to really begin
If you didn’t allow all your past negative in
But you did
And it was there
You let your past negative win
Instead of us
You weren’t even aware
That it was you
Who
Took us down
Who would want that?
Not me
why would I ever
want someone like you around?
I don’t
Want you
At all
Anymore
I always knew
I was too good for you.
Now you will know it too
I miss that time
Before all this shit
Went to shit
You gave me a ring
It was simple
Yet pretty
And it meant the world to me
But you pissed me off
And I threw it out the window of my car
ran it over
It had a kink in it after that
And I loved it even more than before
You gave it back to me and I wish I never gave it back to you after that
I miss that time and
I miss that little gold ring
Cause it came from your heart
Which just like you,
I never see anymore
And probably won’t see ever again
Yacht rock
Tick tock
you own a boat
I can’t swin
But I sure can float
I will coat
Your ego
And fix
You a drink
When you’ve had too much to think
I’ll be you link
To home
As long as you’re sweet
And good
And keep us safe
I’ll keep you wild
Protect your inner child
love why don’t you come to your senses?
I’m not your enemy
When you gonna see
That all I wanna do
Is love you
And keep you close
Have your baby
As we’ll sail far away
From this soul sucking town
If you would just stick around
I’m not here to bring you down
I’m here to show you the way
To a better day
As long as you’re willing
To be open
And I’ll listen to you
And everything
you’ve been through
Let’s make The life we have left
the best
And invest in one another
Instead of against each other
I know you read this
So it’s up to you
To come through
Don’t let the past remind us
Of what we are not now
Just you and me
And the cats 😉
L.M. I. L. Y.
L.M.L.K.C.
I csnt make someone be able to see
What I see
Just like others point out in me
What they see
And tell me what they want me to be
But I’m me
And me had a good heart
And me will deal with a lot
Until my heart had been ripped apart
One too many times
I get sick
Of the inconsistent love
Between each time you split
And I stuck around
So many times you left me
And kicked me while I was down
You didn’t even want me around
But you did this one too many times
You’ve show no care to be more aware
I’m not your punching bag
Hag
But the way you treat me
Sometimes is stuck a drag
And I don’t have love for someone who won’t show love for me
I don’t expect you to be
Any better
Any more
There’s the door
You’ve been asking for
You want out
Then you got it
I don’t want to try with this one sided shit
While you sit
And put all blame on me
I can’t love someone who doesn’t see
What they do
But they expect you to
I’ll save myself
For the kind of people
Who treat me right
Without a fight
I loved you for a long time
And I have more patience than most people do
It takes a lot for me to give up
But all you do
Are the things that make me lose love for you
so if that’s what you want
Then that’s what you get
But remember this :
I used to miss your lovely kiss
But you made that feeling go away
Just like me
You shouldn’t treat people you love like shit
Cause eventually they’ll get sick of it
And you
Goodnight
Closed ears
Closed eyes
Closed heart
What a perfect start
To a new year
This isn’t my fault
I didn’t start this mess
But I’m the one who feels the stress
And disrespect
From you
If I only knew
But I did
I just didn’t listen to myself
When I should have
But
I listened to you
When I knew
This would happen again
And I’m not happy
You made me happy before
And now you just do everything that works against me
And I’m feeling pretty low
I can’t embrace
Your face
When it’s two
Instead of one
So there’s a reason I act the way I do
If you only knew
How it feels
You wouldn’t do half the things you do
But you do because you don’t
To make someone happy
You listen
You love
You care
To do things for someone
Or you don’t
And things fall apart
I’m falling apart
And I don’t like it
But I can’t get through to you
And I never will
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I spend a lot of time pondering what it all means.
A Writer's Musings (And Likely Some Shameless Self-Promotion As Well)
An outlet for my random thoughts and interests
where would it flow...
Serving a little poetic nourishment Monday thru Friday and featuring a Short Play Saturday Matinee to read.
Tales From The Life Of A Soul
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