We can reach

I can’t

Stand

Being

Without.

You

make me

Feel

something

Whole

I wish

I

Could

Stop

Time

Space

And age

And this

Stage

I’m in

I don’t know where

To even begin

Again

Cause I want

Everything

I can’t have

Right now

Right here

But I fear

Too?

Much

And I fear

Nothing at all

I could watch

It all fall

And be fine in the end

But in the end

I’d be alone

Like really alone

And I don’t

Want that.

Give me a sign

Give me the call

Give me your all

Let me know

That I’m something

You know.

You want.

And not some thing

You don’t know

Balls deep you creep

You can play hard ball

Pool

Baseball

Balls in

Balls deep

But you keep that shit

Away from me

Icky

Sticky

Dicky

Fuck

Yuck

I would have never

Go back

To that

Place

With your face

That lies

Like it’s a sport

ABORT!!!

AND I’M OUT…..

(Mic drop)

Time has come today

I relized something today

I can want you in my life

And I would have you

Make space and time for you

And it doesn’t matter to you

If I’m a part of your life

You could take me or leave me

One way or the other

It’s not that important to you

And yeah it hurts

But then I think

That you are just who you are

And maybe there’s never been anything or anyone important enough to you for you to make the effort to try

And I mean really try to give yourself fully to one thing. One person. To love from a place without the fear of what may happen or the fear of what will happen sometimes. To give full allowance to the fact that maybe you might get hurt. But maybe not. And what If not. What if after the difficult times and momentary struggles ( which is all we focus on when we’re struggling instead of looking at all the good stuff)… What if it was really amazing? Amazing cause you took the time and care and love and really got to know the other person and learn to accept each other and love each other and deal with each other on a whole new level.

Without fear

Without judgements or inaccurate beliefs about the other person who we judge because we don’t fully understand them

Maybe there’s never been anything worth it to you to want to keep around.

But what if people really loved and cared enough about each other to just try when it’s not easy. To love when the person is hard to love yet they need it the most. Showing trust and giving trust and being completely honest and open. Not everyone is the same so why do we expect everyone to know and feel what you feel and judge

Maybe giving ourselces to something fully is the answer. Not half assed. Not always having one foot out the door. Ready to give up ready to leave. What if the answer is commiting ourselves to someone or something fully…knowing it’s not always gonna be fun or easy and being okay, ready and willing for that.

Maybe we would find the most amazing thing you’ve ever known

Cause we took the time and effort dedication in someone or something to actually know

You can tell me you’re not afraid of anything

But clearly we all are

Give someone that loves you the chance to be who they really are

Teach them to grow through love

Tell them they matter and that you love them.

Make them feel loved and safe and show them that you are someone they can trust by being trustworthy.

That’s how we change the world

Give love when someone needs it

And accept the love that person gives

Show love and others will show love back.

I know you are you

And I am me

But sometimes i wish you did feel the way I feel for you

For me

But we can’t always have someone wants to give all that you’re willing to give

Not everyone is going to love us back

That’s okay.

I’m happy to know that someday I’ll have someone who wants to put up with me too

And that’s something that makes me love even more. 😉

Color box

Don’t ever let the adult you

Grow up so much

That the child you

Dies

Break out the box of crayons

(if you still have ’em)

Buy a box

(if ya don’t)

Turn off your mind

And just color like you did

When you were a kid

Free from worry

Free from judgement

Free from rules or beliefs

Our adult selves hold onto

For whatever reason we do

Free From the weight of all the things that over complicate our lives and waste our time and energy

Free to feel the excitement from the simple things again

Do this

And you’ll start to remember

the joy and love and excitement

You felt

As a child

All from a box of colored wax

And a piece of paper.

Coke talk

Sometimes the ramble

Becomes too much

That I can’t help but laugh

At how ridiculous it is

Listening to it

Over and over

Night after night

Same ramble on

With such anger and such excitement

Like it was something new

I don’t do coke

Listening to

Others

Coke talk

Makes me wish I did

Just to deal with this shit

Ugh

Bar life

Mixed nuts

This is what you’ll get when you mess with us…

Plastic fantastic

Break something…

i’ve been stuck

in a rut

for too long

but i let myself

get there

and now i’m letting myself get

the fuck out out out

i wanna shout shoutSHOUT!!!!

damn all you manipulators

damn all you messengers of doubt

all your projection

i need protection

from you

your soul suck

and mind fuck

there’s noluv… in what you do

and i got no time left to waste on you.

Big head

All I’ve ever wanted

Was to be important enough

To someone

That they would think about me

Want to understand

Try to understand

Understand they don’t understand

And cause of that understand

I know I’m good

I know I’m special

I know I’m worth it

Even if other people don’t

But my one wish

Is to have someone

On my side

Who loves me enough

To understand how much that effort and time and desire and love

Means the world to me

without that

I cease to grow

I’m a broken

Little girl

Inside my almost too old for anything good self

I know what I have inside me

I know the great things I am

But I also know

I give a lot to people who don’t want to give back

Plus I know that I dint know how to change that

and I also know that I’m to lonely and sad to keep trying

You will think I’m just being drama

But I’m not being dramatic

I’m losing hope

In people and in relationships

And in love

And that’s something I can’t exist without

I dint want to exist without

Caring is so much more than just 2 days of giving me what I want to say the words or make me believe you care

When the rest of the time

You’re not there

Makes it feel cheap

Like I feel cheap right now

I’m at the edge

Closer to the side

Of giving up

It’s not blame

I’ve tried so hard to understand you

You don’t know

Cause I think about it when I’m alone

And I’m alone a lot

Like right now

You don’t even try to understand me

You tell me I’m just making A big deal

Or you tell me how I feel

That doesn’t support

That invalidates

And why the hell

Would I feel anything but bad

When you do the things

That would make anyone sad

What I do

Isn’t blame

For that I have myself

What I do is share

How you can make me feel sometimes

So maybe you would be more aware

But you aren’t

Cause you don’t care

To see anything wrong with you

You only want to see what’s wrong with me

And I know already what my problems are

But why

Do you have

To make me feel worse

By doing something you know makes me feel worse.

Cause I’ve told you it makes me feel worse

And you just do them

Like nothing

I feel like nothing right now

You aren’t my only reason

For why I want to give up

But you’re adding to it

By not even trying to see my side of things

And my side does matter

But not to you

Not to many

And giving up

Seems so much more loving

Than having to feel

The way you’re reaction or lack of reaction

Is making me feel right now

The Sacred Nine

One- on- one mixed-media art lessons in Los Angeles

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From My Reading

I spend a lot of time pondering what it all means.

Michael Lachman Writes

A Writer's Musings (And Likely Some Shameless Self-Promotion As Well)

Eclectic Theist

An outlet for my random thoughts and interests

I wonder, if I draw a line...

where would it flow...

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Life in Poetry, Prose and Pictures

Tales From The Life Of A Soul