the past – Page 4 – skin loves fever

Sepia-Tone Dusk in an Angels Garden On a Day Like Today #2

Sepia-Tone Dusk in an Angels Garden On a Day Like Today

beautiful,automatic writing,life,desire,alive,kyoko,poetry,intrigue,artists,emotions,feel it,inspiration,love,kyoko cole,missymiss,creation,creative writing

The soft moss swimming;
It is the dying spirit.
Desiring, I hide.

Pink shore, serene breeze.
The flat, upright sparkle shines.
Lost moon, velvet spirit.

Walk, swim. With blunt leaves
Wither, decline. With sharp flames
Write, fade: fluttering.
Purple, tender, falling,
Your eyes sits. A mermaid arises,
Declining, shining, I fall

deep within and go far away…

-kyoko cole 2013-

The unrequited love ( between two worlds)

Nothing is more dangerous than desire when it’s wrong

Play dead
To save myself

From you
Handsome devil, you

You
Who
killed me first
Inside
my head and heart
And My love
You tortured
Fucked with enough to ruin
But kept just enough alive to still keep

To have around for
whenever you damn well please
When you want or when you need me
But Only For helping you
And Never for the love of me
And when you don’t want or need me
You push me out
And down
And away
….

…Just enough…
But really not much of anything
anything that’s really real
And you are really not much of that
Or much to love now
I think I’ve reached that point
Where Giving up and going on
Are both the same dead-end to me

Play dead
For only you
And your Dead love
Will end

I hurt so completely, all I could do was laugh

-kyoko cole 2014

Stained

Time press
Ink press
Pressure
press her
down
Under and pull one over on her
over head Of clouds

— Time stamp
Life stamp
tramp stamp
Stomp around
going Up and
COMING down
The disabled ramp
excuse me – i mean – the ramp for the disabled
We could be together
if we really tried
if you really wanted it to be
If you allowed it
and I would give it and you my all
If you let me

— But you won’t
And you don’t
And I’m not yours
And you are not mine
Now and
Forever always on
forever always gone

-kyoko cole

nothing missing

Woke up the morning and I missed you more than ever.
Now I’m trying to put you down
Erase you
Replace you
Forget
Reject
Disinfect
Eject
You
from
me
But I know
That
it’s never quite that easy
or maybe it is
cause it is
nothing now
and so
live like it’s nothing
and love like it never was

Stepping stone

Some things in life aren’t meant to be forever. They’re meant as a stepping stone to get you to where you need to go or where you’re suppose to be.

saturday morning 8am

a man crying in the alley
saturday morning
no one knew he was there
but me
i found him
trying to lose myself
down that same alley way
to hide away
from you
and the world
and the knowing
and feeling
of how fucked i am
and how fucked i make everything
i love
i live to lose
nothing else fills
only sorrow and tears flood
the self outside myself folds
the self inside myself fades
as all i love fades too
the emptiness
stay empty
the more you yearn
for the missing
piece
the more nothing will fit
or fill
the hole.
how can you miss something you never really had to begin with?
the weight of nothing
is heavy
the man in the alley is now sobbing
out his heavy heart
as i carry the weight
and wait
for the end to start
and wait
for the sun to spill

leave behind what wants to stay behind
love the ones who love you
let the end start something new

pale shelter

inside your song
i can hear you speak
to me
and you say
all of the things
you could
you would
never say to me
otherwise
without something to hide your truth behind
without some way to mask what you really feel
the only truth i get from you is presented as a lie
hidden
inside behind between
and in plain sight
in between words
or are creeping inside a melody
it is there
i can feel it
i can hear it
i can taste it
i can see it
it says more
than you know
under a soft voice –
how you feel
and think
SCREAMS AT ME
and
makes me
feel
unwanted uncomfortable
and unsure if you even like me at all

we all hide behind something some time
we all are hidden sometimes
but if you’re hiding
something you dislike in me
enough to show me passive agressively
then i take it
like it is
which is that you don’t want me to stick around

i can’t keep loving
someone who isn’t truly loving back

show what you mean and mean what you show
more than or equal to what you say

if i only could make a deal with god

Sometimes stupid
Maybe less
Maybe more
Than you
Or you
Or any of you’s
who is
out there
Who’s
To say???
You got it made???
— Got it all worked out???
UP there stuck
in your head ok?
But then someday
you find that it’s not
What you FIRST thought
Only then you find yourself to stand
Where I stand now
and It’s then some how
you’re change of place
changes the view you face
And your sight you see
To understand me
What I tried to show
From my side now
You did not want to know

And I will go
On
And I will be
Somewhere Beyond the ocean
Somewhere Beyond the sea
Somewhere Beside
someone who
Is right there beside me
but over there now
Patiently waiting for me

For I know in my heart
That amazing things begin to start
As the old fades and falls apart
and greatness comes in …if you allow it to

Adams for peace

“If you’re frightened of dyin and you’re holding on…Youll see devils tearing your life away.But…if youve made your peace,Then the devila are really angelsFreeing you from the earth…..from the earth….from the earth”

Tonight’s show was beautiful
But it made me realize
This whole thing isn’t for me.
I don’t belong here

put it down –

stop the cycle spin
out
of
control
– i can end this right now
by ending any future pass
down of shit
that my crazy breeds
everyone in my family just keeps it going
like they have to pass on
something fucked just to make them feel less fucked
but i see that
maybe there is no way out
for me but
to do this world and the people a favor
and just kill it
so it doesn’t spread into
any more hearts
my heart is sick
put me out of my misery
and be done…

i’m happy
with the idea
of leaving it all
when it gets like this
and i feel like this
and i’m alone
i’m happy with being alone
and gone

i love a lot of things in the world
there’s so much beauty
but i am not one of those things
and every time my efforts and love
don’t seem to do much
but abandon me
at the worst times

when i need love more

i just see that
this world
was not meant for
someone like me

put it down for good…
good night
until the next time
we meet again

-k

coagulation

on my tongue driven
dead leaves fall on blood stained face
streets full of rain
tiny fractures
stained table cloth fingers
standing still