writings – Page 2 – skin loves fever

The night I touched the moon

i grabbed the moon

and the stars

started to scream

i almost broke the sky
Why moon why?

Everything I saw

was beautiful

It made me cry

Noise noise and more noise

I can read between the lines

I can read the language you don’t speak in words

The writing on the wall is very clear

If you wanted to

You would be

Here.

Big man

Little man

Where do you stand

Little boy

I wasn’t made

For you

to be your little toy

When you come down

If you ever really do

Blabber and smoke

Treating everything

Like it’s one big joke

Laugh it up

Laugh out loud

And while you’re at it

Act so proud

Who you trying to fool

Yourself?

Or the crowd?

Maybe both

In the sky above

On the ground below

Who you really are begins to show

And it hurts only cause I let you in

I’m pretty sure lying

Is a Cardinal sin

Where does the false you end

And the real you begin?

Kiss me like the ocean breeze

There’s nothing in my dreams

Just some ugly memories

A happy poem for you

You are my love

You piss in my garden

And laugh about it

After it’s been done

You will always be the one

For me

You make me haaapppppyyyyyy.

On nights like this

I like to kiss

The sweetness of your smile

Oh please won’t you stay

With my awhile.

You can piss on my strawberries all you want 😉

Love notes & doodles I drew on a wall

I used to make things for the people I loved

Now I rarely do

Nothing inspires me to

These days

I drew silly pictures and

Wrote loving things

On his wall

All the things that were true

Because I wanted to

Only to find it

Painted over

Covered up

Scratched out

Like he did with me

Like he hated to see

Something

I did out of love

Like he hated me

I could never scratch out his name

His notes (he never wrote me)

His time (he rarely gave me)

The gifts (he didn’t make me)

He is not human

Nothing sticks to him

He can take my love

Throw it away

And then begin

Again somewhere else

How can that make me feel good?

To know I was all in

When he was never even close

He’s always been a lifetime away

So far away

Truth

I am letting you go

I am no longer holding on to what is no longer there

I’m not waiting for your care

Or your love

I’m not waiting for a sign

Or a phone call

Or a reply

That will never come

I’m not fooling myself by seeing your little effort give as a loaf of bread

When in reality

All you gave were crumbs

And that is why I would keep trying

Over crumbs I foolishly thought was love

But it wasn’t love

And you never really cared

And you don’t really care now

Cause if you did

I would feel it

I’ve been the one to reach out

To show interest

To take time

And now I’m done.

I’m not angry

I’m not even that sad

I’m just aware that

Holding on to you

Is a waste of time

If you didn’t appreciate me then

You never will

I can’t make you see

What you don’t

Or don’t want to see

I can’t make you feel what you do not feel

I accept you are the way you are

And it’s not what I want

And what I was holding onto is just an illusion I created in my head

And I won’t hold on to shadow

I no longer hold on to you

goodbye

Forever

I let you go

And I am okay

Apathy

A night

A fuck

A sore

A bore

It’s hard to ignore

The lack of care

In your stare

Unaffected

Disconnected

It’s the way

People in this town

Seem to be

Now

And this apathy

Is making me

Want to get the fuck out

Of this

And jump into

Something new.

22 Stages of Relationship Between An Empath and A Narcissist

22 Stages of Relationship Between An Empath and A Narcissist
— Read on www.google.com/amp/s/themindsjournal.com/stages-relationship-empath-narcissist/?amp

It’s cold outside

this desire

bottles full of memories

I struggle with the world

without you love

substances find problems

your fear finds misunderstanding

your fear keeps you away

and there’s nothing I can do

to change that

time is an island

deserted and alone

afraid to be forgotten

trying to survive

why must the wind

be so harsh?

the fallen

leaves

dance

on.

abandon

walls.

suicide without being able

to die

you take the path

of habit

devils and wolves

hijacked you

and your love

it really doesn’t matter now…

does it?

impossible to

get through

to you.

you got what

you wanted.

me removed.

i give up

and turn away

And stay

That way

On the path that

No longer leads to you.

2018

I write to express myself.
I write to create.
I write to discover.
I write because I can’t NOT do it.
I write because I enjoy writing.
I write to share a little bit about myself and to learn a lot about myself.
I write cause I’m inspired.
I write to inspire.
I write for me.
I write for you.
I write to feel better.
I write to purge.
I write to love.
I write because I love.
I write because I hate.
I write for all the times I could not speak.
I write to reflect. I write to relate.
I write to release.
I write to recognize.
I write to recharge.
I write to record.
I write to refrain.
I write to repair.
I write to return.
I write to revolt.
I write to revolve.
I write to remember. I write to forget. .
I write because it makes the loneliness feel less lonely.
I write because I learn from writing.
I write because it’s what keeps me from pulling the trigger too quickly.
I write because I want to write…
because I need to write and because I love to write.

why do you write?

Everything was not

i see stars
and bible thumpers
bloom and gloom
like the sound
of the man
ready for doom
I put my spell on you
just like before
only now
I am dancing
on the moonlight floor