bsidejunkie – Page 4 – skin loves fever

what a mess

you can be mad
misunderstand me
think that I’m bad
but I’m just here
alone and sad
if you could only see
what you meant to me

I need something good
to get me out of this funk
to show me that I could
have a good life
have a good day
remember why I’m here
help me find my way

cause being alone
is wrecking my mind
if you see me
please be kind

…. ugh

where no one can find me

Seven days

Of solid sadness

Sinking slipping sinking deep

Shooting guns

all a Blazin’

grazin’ skin

but I can’t sleep

I can only fade away

As the pieces creep on in

But where I am

Who knows where
I end and
you begin

I do…
and I waited for you
but I can’t get you to

I don’t know where you are
I don’t know where you hide
I am all alone here
Got no one by my side

I don’t need to be yours
If you aren’t really here
I don’t need to feel safe
When I live with all my fears

I have no choice….

Seven deadly sins
But none as deadly as your cold
even the book of right and wrong
all those lessons have grown old

Like me

I don’t know where you are
I don’t know where you hide
I don’t need to be anybody’s baby
When there’s no one by my side

You can take off to the city
You can take off to the shore
You can take off with my soul
I don’t need it anymore

I don’t need it anymore

I don’t need me anymore

some day after this one
there will be no place left for you to hide
that is when you will finally understand me
with no one by your side

like me

many years too late
many years lost
we fight to be right
but at what cost

This world is not made for lovers
This world is not made for the kind
This world is out for blood
out to kill your soul and steal your mind

this is no fun

Better to be dead
than always on the run
it’s not living
when your time is done

Like me

blah blah

stuck
inside
a room
for days
on repeat
the same day plays
over and over
no fresh air
day after day
going nowhere

the less i live
the less I care

Listen to yourself

You know what you need

Listen to yourself

And feed

The starving parts of you

Before it’s too late

a.aliexpress.com/_m0lARcq

Seriously join. They have some key cool stuff for cheap prices

space

heart space
room space
head space
my space
shared with a
head case
nowhere to go
no place
to move
I can’t breathe
I can’t face
it anymore
I try…
to make it better
I try
to make it okay-
to make it
just o.k.-
only to
have it not be
okay
only to have it
stay…
Just the same
or get even worse.
like a curse
I need to reverse
but I can’t
seem to –
get myself back
on track
when I have no space
to move
No space to breathe
no space to live
please just give
me a break
for god’s sake
at least be helpful
not harmful
be aware
and care
instead of just
always there
– always in my way.
please…
make it be better than just okay.
because every day
living this way-
is not living
it’s death-

at least tomorrow
*sigh*
is a new day
to try again.

-k.c.

I need my space
and a notebook to write my poems

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

the end

I am alone
with my head
and my heavy heart
silent
and cold
why did you leave me this way?
why did you promise me you would always stay.
now I am left alone
with only these feelings
I get no response
no reply
from you
it’s like I’m not even here
like I’m invisible
not worth your time
and it hurts
it hurts so bad
to be ignored
and treated like
nothing.
nobody
when I was once somebody to you.
what can I do?
not a thing
but to go away.
and stay away.
you pushed me so far away from you
so far gone is where I’ll stay.
this is the only way
I won’t have to feel
this pain.

We

I am here

And you are there

But we are connected

Many many lifetimes

Of knowing

And waiting

But do you want me

Or do you just want me to be safe?

You got your life

And I have to wait

But I don’t think you want to wait

Around for me

I know what I want

But I have things I have to do

And people I can’t let down

And you have others

You want and must have around

I want a family

I want to truly be loved

seen

Felt

And understood

If you could feel my heart

You would know

But you only show

What you show

And I really don’t know

Where I fit into that

Maybe I’m dumb

Or blind

Or half blind

But I do know my heart feels something

Strong

For you

What do you want from me?

What do you have with others

What do we do?

It can’t only come from Me

Clearly

Speak

What is inside you

my angels have gone fishing my angels are out to lunch.

sleepy eyes
tired shell of a person
I just don’t see it anymore

self hatred
I’m nowhere close to being a person
worth calling a friend

I’ve given up
a lot
of what I used to love
I’ve given up
on
most of any kind of living
I’ve given up…
on me.

who do I want to be
somebody better than this
but it’s too damn hard
to change
when I can’t even seem to leave
my room
which isn’t even mine
and all the time I’m wasting

if there is a God
and if there are angels assigned to me
please see
the state I’m in
please
help.

may your dreams be better than this

in a blink of an eye-
lash out
and about
face-
time-keeps on
ticking
TICKING
ticking
into
the futureless
loop
of hands that
wave high
and scoop low

and everything we think we know
has been wrong
as the grand finale
begins
this marks our end
this is our swan song

oh sing me a tune
one soft and sweet
a song where I
and the dreamworld meet
one that soothes me to slumber

and one that will promise to keep
me safe
from
the fall
of it all
and what is about to come.

-kyoko cole

miserableboy42

time for the tables to turn
it’s time for me to ignore
all that is you
cause all you seem to do
is find a reason
to make me wrong
so you can do what you do
and i’m not going to swallow that
shit you call love
when it’s all just abuse
i really loved you
and this is what you do
to me
who just wanted to be good to you
but even that
isn’t good enough for you
you look for any reason
to turn
what was true
into a lie
so you can do
whatever you want to do
you’d rather be right being wrong
the same ol’ story
your same old fucking song
it never mattered
how much or little
i give to you
the idea you have made up
in your wet drunken
sunken head
has killed my love
has left me mostly dead
instead of trust
you push and you push
until you bust
any good
that we had
some people love their misery
some people like being sad
and mad
and drunk
and sunk
and that someone is you
out to sea
this is you
but this ain’t me
your drowning
drowning in your own
sorrow
fucked up
and checked out
in your make believe
ugly world
that ain’t mine
this isn’t the time
to go down
to the hell
you call home