I write to express myself.
I write to create.
I write to discover.
I write because I can’t NOT do it.
I write because I enjoy writing.
I write to share a little bit about myself and to learn a lot about myself.
I write cause I’m inspired.
I write to inspire.
I write for me.
I write for you.
I write to feel better.
I write to purge.
I write to love.
I write because I love.
I write because I hate.
I write for all the times I could not speak.
I write to reflect. I write to relate.
I write to release.
I write to recognize.
I write to recharge.
I write to record.
I write to refrain.
I write to repair.
I write to return.
I write to revolt.
I write to revolve.
I write to remember. I write to forget. .
I write because it makes the loneliness feel less lonely.
I write because I learn from writing.
I write because it’s what keeps me from pulling the trigger too quickly.
I write because I want to write…
because I need to write and because I love to write.
Tag: life
thirty eight hours
and useless
her lonely mother
remained silent
resting on the shoulder
of her companion
the great sun and the heavens
now seemed artificial.
do we understand the power
of our instruments?
vanity of the vanities
sometimes tried to stand and walk
like us
a coat of magnetic mindlessness
the man with bad intent
playing us like the smallest violin
this feeling of emptiness
Is more alive than me
illusions all around us.
to soften the blow
between the operator
and the subjects
you found my energy
in the broken pulse of time
I pulsate with the angels
and then laugh at our farewell
I am a memory
you see… that
this
is the end.
-Kyoko Cole
2018
Everything was not
i see stars
and bible thumpers
bloom and gloom
like the sound
of the man
ready for doom
I put my spell on you
just like before
only now
I am dancing
on the moonlight floor
i see stars
and bible thumpers
bloom and gloom
like the sound
of the man
ready for doom
I put my spell on you
just like before
only now
I am dancing
on the moonlight floor
I can only run
(to you)
I can only hide
(from you)
if you
want me to leave
I will
go
I leave wounded
all the time
with my destination
out the door
where the stakes
are high
and time don’t end
a sweet choke
under faces
of light
hidden within smoke
and imaginary tales
of without any explanation
interested in this study
more here
then there
the absurd to defend
everyone corrupts
in movement
you rather abuse
than love again
the distance between
cause feelings we reject
already seated
i tried more to protect
myself
from what you see
in the mirror
that is me
another suicide
in the distant blue
i lie here
sweetly crushed
by
the pain of you
-kyoko cole
2018
At the end of the stars there is love
by myself
crushed and flooded
by the fall of you
the moonlight
would laugh at me
if he could
I found sanity in the bottle
the wind catches a thought
with my heart in limbo
I must be lost
in a mess
of sadness
just like me
it was hiding
by myself
crushed and flooded
by the fall of you
the moonlight
would laugh at me
if he could
I found sanity in the bottle
the wind catches a thought
with my heart in limbo
I must be lost
in a mess
of sadness
just like me
it was hiding
the song held out its hand
I still wonder why
you suffered so
and felt the weight
of my troubled soul
so many illusions break through
an honest man
without branches
is always
the first to go
the best we’ve had
I would run to you in a moment
my fantasies
make me hear your voice
at the center of the light
in darkness
i see you
at the end of the stars
there is love.
-kyoko cole
2018
Downtown turn
Head -on
Tail spin
Lose yourself
Then you begin
Again
And again
It seems like I’m always starting over
It seems like I’m always going backwards
In the race around the track
I get myself back
Or do I?
Head -on
Tail spin
Lose yourself
Then you begin
Again
And again
It seems like I’m always starting over
It seems like I’m always going backwards
In the race around the track
I get myself back
Or do I?
Maybe I’m just a little more tired
Tired of trying
Again and Again
-kyoko cole
2018
What I do
a piece of me
a piece of you
died Thursday morning
and i’m lost without
Shutter out
Bright
In
I sin
And then begin
Again
What else is there to do?
I have no clue.
A piece of me
A piece of you
Died Thursday morning
And I’m lost without
Turning corners
I find doubt
Mixed in with finding pieces of really awesome
Most beautiful people I have ever known
The best of people
Life has ever shown
But I fuck
I suck?
I drink my way back to gold
One of the saddest stories ever told
Is the one I hold
Goodnight another day goes by with out my friend
Will we ever meet again?
I really hope we do.
-kyoko cole
Chris
Now that you’re gone
I have no one by my side
To help me through
That person was always you
Now i feel the loneliness
Of being truly alone
You were the greatest friend
I have ever known
That this world has ever shown
I’m not alright
I’m not okay
Just take me back
To a better day
You were always there for me
And I’m so grateful for that
And for you
Until we meet again
I love you…
My sweet friend
Do you understand me?
No.
Not at all
Never.
Not willing
Not capable
Not true.
Not wanting
Not caring maybe.
But I saw it once
When he maybe cared
Maybe wanted to
Maybe willing
Maybe the demons in his head
Were on vacation
Or tired.
Cause even demons need a break too
I don’t know
All I can say is how I feel
And it’s sad
To see someone you loved so much
Just turn into someone else
And have such hate
And meanness
Doesn’t make me angry
Doesn’t make me want to get revenge
I’m too sad for that
And revenge was never my thing
I let time and truth
Work it’s own magic
But right now
The kind of sadness I feel
Is like when a family member or someone you were super close dies
Except it’s worse
Cause he’s still there
Seeing whatever he wants to see
That isn’t really me
Not seeing me
But letting the real demons
Alter his brain
Take over his soul
Without him even knowing
It’s a sadness I can’t explain
Unless you’ve felt it before
One I never
Want to feel again.
-kyoko cole
Beer as cold as your ex’s heart
I will never understand how some people can be so cold.
To turn off
To love conditionally
To have such black and white thinking and feeling
To be cruel
To make up reasons why to hate
To criticize and put down
Yet be blind to everything that’s good
To completely ignore their own behavior
To make another person feel unwanted
Unimportant
Useless
So many people “love” that way
That’s not love.
That’s just selfishness mixed with a bitterness
You teach others through love
You can kill a man with disregard and neglect
And a mean spirit
Some people’s truth is whatever they were conditioned with from the time they were born
All they know is to pass that down to anyone and everyone they touch.
Yet they don’t see it.
Some people love to blame others or something false as a reason to take out their anger and pain on someone
Some people only know how to push the people that care about them away.
If all you know is the negative
If all you’ve seen and experienced is negative
You’re gonna end up looking for the negative in everyone else that comes along
I wish compassion played a higher role in mankind
I wish people thought about the lasting effects of their actions and behavior towards others
I wish people didn’t react to things they make up in their head
We are in this world
Hopefully to help one another
Not to harm someone who truly loves you
And definitely not to harm the ones who love you just because our past experiences and trauma makes you think that it’s okay to do.
It’s sad.
But there will always be people out there who just don’t know why better
And /or just don’t care to be better than what was done to them.
I wish you a happy life
For the first time
I truly
100%
without any doubt
Wish you the best
I Want the happiest life
For you
And for myself
Though our time together
Is now done
At least for now and the near future.
I am grateful
For the times we had
Both good and bad.
It was a part of my life
And I respect it
As that.
I am now okay
With letting you go.
I cannot make you stay
Nor would I want to.
I cannot change you
I can only change myself
I do not harbor any bad feels towards you
I need space and time to heal
Without you around
But I do not have bad feelings towards you.
However you feel about me is non of my concern anymore.
Those are your feelings and i respect that you are allowed to feel the way you do
Even if I don’t agree on what you feel and why you feel them
I cannot change how you feel
And I will not try
I know who i am
And i accept and love myself for who I am
I am still learning and growing and changing too. I am not perfect
No one is
But i know my worth
No one else has the power to determine that for me except for me.
If you do not know my worth
That is okay
You don’t have to
You don’t have to be around me
But i don’t have to be around you
I don’t have to do anything I don’t feel comfortable doing
I don’t have to be okay with something or someone that is not okay to me and my well being
I will keep my distance
I hope you will do the same.
Thank you
And goodbye
-KC
“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” ~Jean de La Fontaine
Sing birds sing birds sing birds sing Get away
3am sounds
Of Birds and coyotes
I wish I could speak to them
I wish I could speak to you
Get through to you
But I’m starting to see
That’s never going to happen
I’ll probably make more progress with the birds and coyotes
And him
As he sits next to me on the patio
We listen to music
And talk
Like the coyotes and birds do
skin loves fever 
You must be logged in to post a comment.