truth – Page 13 – skin loves fever

Sex

11111a Smells like blueberries and lavender. 🙂

The Raveonettes – “Dead Sound” on YouTube

Hear the sound of falling love
As I wonder where you are
Hits the ground with a dead sound
Know you ain’t got far

Too stupid and sissy like
To say that you want out
You make the eyes of a million girls
And think you’ll make them shout

Dead sound
Dead sound
Dead sound
Dead sound

I used to take you on every time
That sparkle turned to black
I used to drag you through my streets
When you came crawling back

Your cheap words that you bought on sale
Won’t help you through tonight
You make the eyes of a million girls
And think that’s what they like

Dead sound
Dead sound
Dead sound
Dead sound

And now you go through a million girls
And try to pick what’s right
When nigtfall comes and you’re still alone
Do you feel it deep inside

It’s oh so cold on the other side
Where thoughts can turn you down
You make the eyes of a million girls
But I see no girl around

Dead sound
Dead sound
Dead sound
Dead sound

Woke up the morning and I missed you more than ever.
Now I’m trying to put you down
Erase you
Replace you
Forget
Reject
Disinfect
Eject
You
from
me
But I know
That
it’s never quite that easy
or maybe it is
cause it is
nothing now
and so
live like it’s nothing
and love like it never was

Stepping stone

Some things in life aren’t meant to be forever. They’re meant as a stepping stone to get you to where you need to go or where you’re suppose to be.

left like dead

patterns darkly bragging
ink vanishes as the viper gleams
unchained reflections reflect
upon nights lonely kill
grimly, sad and clear
venomous pain sags heavy
down the heart beat and heart broken
unwanted
no love
no time
no effort for the dead

truth lies in blood streams of screams
shadows that flee warmly, crazy
the cold resurrection barks
machine gun round of stammer
gutless gypsies rain down
abandoned love floats helpless
somewhere
nowhere
unwanted
the bewildering black
illuminates dark

Stupid

Words are stupid
So are people
Most often
We think too much
And live from our ego
Rather than from our heart
We believe stupid things as truth
We are to quick to tell and yell
Things absurd
And false
Full of anger and hate
And stupid words
We cannot ever take back

And that’s what kills us
Years later
After we’ve pushed so much away
The regret
And the things we cannot ever take
Or get back
Tonight
I see my fate
And I hate
That we are so stupid
But I would be stupid
To let someone
I loved
Be so stupid with my love

Not tonight
Not again

Movers and shakers

You make the works go round 🙂

and for that, i thank you 😉

3 am visit

I love the nights
Where someone
You love
Loves you back
And
Shows you something
You needed to learn
needed to know
needed to remember
About yourself
About life
about love
And it fills that empty space in your heart
That you couldn’t fill on your own
That you almost believed would never be filled
It’s nights like tonight
That make me love more
I am truly grateful for the people who love me and who take the time and the care to show me the loving way.
I learn so much more from living out through the heart
Than living in my head.

saturday morning 8am

a man crying in the alley
saturday morning
no one knew he was there
but me
i found him
trying to lose myself
down that same alley way
to hide away
from you
and the world
and the knowing
and feeling
of how fucked i am
and how fucked i make everything
i love
i live to lose
nothing else fills
only sorrow and tears flood
the self outside myself folds
the self inside myself fades
as all i love fades too
the emptiness
stay empty
the more you yearn
for the missing
piece
the more nothing will fit
or fill
the hole.
how can you miss something you never really had to begin with?
the weight of nothing
is heavy
the man in the alley is now sobbing
out his heavy heart
as i carry the weight
and wait
for the end to start
and wait
for the sun to spill

leave behind what wants to stay behind
love the ones who love you
let the end start something new

pale shelter

inside your song
i can hear you speak
to me
and you say
all of the things
you could
you would
never say to me
otherwise
without something to hide your truth behind
without some way to mask what you really feel
the only truth i get from you is presented as a lie
hidden
inside behind between
and in plain sight
in between words
or are creeping inside a melody
it is there
i can feel it
i can hear it
i can taste it
i can see it
it says more
than you know
under a soft voice –
how you feel
and think
SCREAMS AT ME
and
makes me
feel
unwanted uncomfortable
and unsure if you even like me at all

we all hide behind something some time
we all are hidden sometimes
but if you’re hiding
something you dislike in me
enough to show me passive agressively
then i take it
like it is
which is that you don’t want me to stick around

i can’t keep loving
someone who isn’t truly loving back

show what you mean and mean what you show
more than or equal to what you say

if i only could make a deal with god

Sometimes stupid
Maybe less
Maybe more
Than you
Or you
Or any of you’s
who is
out there
Who’s
To say???
You got it made???
— Got it all worked out???
UP there stuck
in your head ok?
But then someday
you find that it’s not
What you FIRST thought
Only then you find yourself to stand
Where I stand now
and It’s then some how
you’re change of place
changes the view you face
And your sight you see
To understand me
What I tried to show
From my side now
You did not want to know

And I will go
On
And I will be
Somewhere Beyond the ocean
Somewhere Beyond the sea
Somewhere Beside
someone who
Is right there beside me
but over there now
Patiently waiting for me

For I know in my heart
That amazing things begin to start
As the old fades and falls apart
and greatness comes in …if you allow it to