nothing missing

Woke up the morning and I missed you more than ever.
Now I’m trying to put you down
Erase you
Replace you
Forget
Reject
Disinfect
Eject
You
from
me
But I know
That
it’s never quite that easy
or maybe it is
cause it is
nothing now
and so
live like it’s nothing
and love like it never was

hopeless-love-lyrics-place-rihanna-Favim.com-25974 tumblr_l0apihWBvQ1qa793ho1_500 tumblr_kz789peUwy1qa9u6ko1_500 tumblr_l1e7ovjyOn1qzxuc8o1_500 6e22b14dfa989b1b0196062e314b2ec96e00e505_m

out on the weak-end

i wake up this morning
and feel it more than ever
nothing new
just much stronger now
and it runs much deeper
i know there’s nothing for me here
and all the reasons why
have become very clear
the end is near

-kc


“gun-shy” by grizzly bear

 

The sky keeps staring at me
Frozen in my tracks
(Nothing else to see)
And when I move my face left
You’re always standing there
(A shadow I can’t see)
And even then I can’t trace
You’re walking away

I put my ears to the ground
Always pushing down
(Nothing I can hear)
I found the worst half in me
We’re cut off at the knees
(Can’t even take a stand)
Against your words and beliefs
We didn’t wanna freeze

(All of the years, leaving me here
Gun-shy)
I don’t want to say it all again (the pain, losing my aim)
Never seem to see
(And why?) Do I always feel it all the same
The blisters in my eyes
(Recite) A guide that has only led me stray
And even as I limp (you smile)

The cold keeps tearing at me
Slowing down my blood
(Unable to speak)
I left my mind long ago
Choosing some false
(Always letting go)
And when I try to face you
You’re walking away

(All of the years, leaving me here
Gun-shy)
I don’t want to say it all again (the pain, losing my aim)
Never seem to see
(And why?) Do I always feel it all the same
The blisters in my eyes
(Recite) A guide that has only led me stray
And even as I limp (you smile)

 

 

left like dead

patterns darkly bragging ink vanishes as the viper gleams unchained reflections reflect upon nights lonely kill grimly, sad and clear venomous pain sags heavy down the heart beat and heart broken unwanted no love no time no effort for the dead truth lies in blood streams of screams shadows that flee warmly, crazy the cold resurrection […]

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saturday morning 8am

a man crying in the alley
saturday morning
no one knew he  was there
but me
i found him
trying to lose myself
down that same alley way
to hide away
from you
and the world
and the knowing
and feeling
of how fucked i am
and how fucked i make everything
i love
i live to lose
nothing else fills
only sorrow and tears flood
the self outside myself folds
the self inside myself fades
as all i love fades too
the emptiness
stay empty
the more you yearn
for the missing
piece
the more nothing will fit
or fill
the hole.
how can you miss something you never really had to begin with?
the weight of nothing
is heavy
the man in the alley is now sobbing
out his heavy heart
as i carry the weight
and wait
for the end to start
and wait
for the sun to spill

leave behind what wants to stay behind
love the ones who love you
let the end start something new

 

Adams for peace

“If you’re frightened of dyin and you’re holding on…Youll see devils tearing your life away.But…if youve made your peace,Then the devila are really angelsFreeing you from the earth…..from the earth….from the earth”

Tonight’s show was beautiful
But it made me realize
This whole thing isn’t for me.
I don’t belong here

 

put it down –

stop the cycle spin
out
of
control
– i can end this right now
by ending any future pass
down of shit
that my crazy breeds
everyone in my family just keeps it going
like they have to pass on
something fucked just to make them feel less fucked
but i see that
maybe there is no way out
for me but
to do this world and the people a favor
and just kill it
so it doesn’t spread into
any more hearts
my heart is sick
put me out of my misery
and be done…

i’m happy
with the idea
of leaving it all
when it gets like this
and i feel like this
and i’m alone
i’m happy with being alone
and gone

i love a lot of things in the world
there’s so much beauty
but i am not one of those things
and every time my efforts and love
don’t seem to do much
but abandon me
at the worst times

when i need love more

i just see that
this world
was not meant for
someone like me

put it down for good…
good night
until the next time
we meet again

-k

coagulation

blackdalhia

on my tongue 
driven
dead leaves fall on blood stained face
streets full of rain
tiny fractures
stained table cloth fingers
standing still

she hears each of his lies
she listens for his breathing
hark, the call of birds
his false shadow, painted skin
a child cries 

coagulation 
she stands on the edge of space
waiting/ ready to evaporate
the dead and green leaves clutter
the bubble cloud of air and water
mixed
continues for love
long lost dreams gone whispers fade
spiders spin webs lost highway
in our hearts trouble
drunken thoughts today
complicated on stained sheets

in his eyes her eyes
glowing moon
witness the lack now in bloom
thick in fog of heaven and hell
specks of love gather in a stream

life scratched from rust
each is made of dust 

lost in silence
whispers fade

 

don't steal my drink

Listen, quiet, still

crowlampay7

there is emptiness
crossings on corners
she is draining down
her eyes on green wave

truths scratched from the dirt
his false shadow, painted skin
listen, quiet, still

blood becomes a time bomb
she is stardust she is earth
old and broken down

ghosts of factories
the folding skeletons of past on fire
transportation for the dead

time is like sandstone, wearing away
there’s a haze above the street signs
she is turning to stone

the grain from straw
neon road bars
beating wings

There is emptiness
Dark and heavy
Haunting the space within

-Kyoko Cole
2013