The pursuer-distancer pattern
Therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner summarizes the pattern like this.
A partner with pursuing behavior tends to respond to relationship stress by moving toward the other. They seek communication, discussion, togetherness, and expression. They are urgent in their efforts to fix what they think is wrong. They are anxious about the distance their partner has created and take it personally.
finding the way through fears. finding myself and the freedom that comes from knowing thy self.
i used to write
my heart out
without any doubt
without any fright
but somewhere along the heartache and years
there seems to be a build up of unsound fears
in a frantic state
inside an emotional ride
takes me to the other side
sick and unfit
the only way out
is to move through it
be silent and still
and in the right state of mind
and know myself
better than to let
any thing or anyone
me down –
the truth is those things don’t matter to me
i matter to me
knowing myself is what sets me free
It’s okay to fall
How boring would life be without the waves?
All that really matters is if you are willing to ride it and how well you ride it
Bukowski said it better
“What matters most is how well you walk through the fire”
We are both fire
Into the night
Into the day
And it’s always better to burn out
Than fade away ( thank you Neil young )
Tonight you leave me with a smile
And that’s pretty fucking great in my book. I love you for that.
Thank you 😉
i found this article interesting and i agree for the most part.
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