writing – Page 11 – skin loves fever

pale shelter

inside your song
i can hear you speak
to me
and you say
all of the things
you could
you would
never say to me
otherwise
without something to hide your truth behind
without some way to mask what you really feel
the only truth i get from you is presented as a lie
hidden
inside behind between
and in plain sight
in between words
or are creeping inside a melody
it is there
i can feel it
i can hear it
i can taste it
i can see it
it says more
than you know
under a soft voice –
how you feel
and think
SCREAMS AT ME
and
makes me
feel
unwanted uncomfortable
and unsure if you even like me at all

we all hide behind something some time
we all are hidden sometimes
but if you’re hiding
something you dislike in me
enough to show me passive agressively
then i take it
like it is
which is that you don’t want me to stick around

i can’t keep loving
someone who isn’t truly loving back

show what you mean and mean what you show
more than or equal to what you say

if i only could make a deal with god

Sometimes stupid
Maybe less
Maybe more
Than you
Or you
Or any of you’s
who is
out there
Who’s
To say???
You got it made???
— Got it all worked out???
UP there stuck
in your head ok?
But then someday
you find that it’s not
What you FIRST thought
Only then you find yourself to stand
Where I stand now
and It’s then some how
you’re change of place
changes the view you face
And your sight you see
To understand me
What I tried to show
From my side now
You did not want to know

And I will go
On
And I will be
Somewhere Beyond the ocean
Somewhere Beyond the sea
Somewhere Beside
someone who
Is right there beside me
but over there now
Patiently waiting for me

For I know in my heart
That amazing things begin to start
As the old fades and falls apart
and greatness comes in …if you allow it to

Adams for peace

“If you’re frightened of dyin and you’re holding on…Youll see devils tearing your life away.But…if youve made your peace,Then the devila are really angelsFreeing you from the earth…..from the earth….from the earth”

Tonight’s show was beautiful
But it made me realize
This whole thing isn’t for me.
I don’t belong here

don’t think twice it’s all right

i want things
now
that maybe is too much
too soon
too different than what you want
maybe not what you want at all
and tonight
i can feel it
let go
i’m not super sad
i’m not super happy
disappointment comes in like the morning sun
harsh and bright
but a dose of reality is something i need
to keep me from getting too lost
in something that doesn’t welcome it
or want to get lost in me
i’m content
in letting it let go
and i have to be okay
with what is
and what is not
what comes and
and what leaves
it’s never really goodbye
but it is
a step back
and step away
a step out
and a step in the right direction
towards something that needs me just as much as i need it
whatever it is
i never doubted you
just so you know
but maybe i doubted
things within myself
much greater than just being great all the time
but i never doubted you at all
or what i felt about you
we just want different things
and that’s okay
i will find my way

we accept the love with think we deserve

put it down –

stop the cycle spin
out
of
control
– i can end this right now
by ending any future pass
down of shit
that my crazy breeds
everyone in my family just keeps it going
like they have to pass on
something fucked just to make them feel less fucked
but i see that
maybe there is no way out
for me but
to do this world and the people a favor
and just kill it
so it doesn’t spread into
any more hearts
my heart is sick
put me out of my misery
and be done…

i’m happy
with the idea
of leaving it all
when it gets like this
and i feel like this
and i’m alone
i’m happy with being alone
and gone

i love a lot of things in the world
there’s so much beauty
but i am not one of those things
and every time my efforts and love
don’t seem to do much
but abandon me
at the worst times

when i need love more

i just see that
this world
was not meant for
someone like me

put it down for good…
good night
until the next time
we meet again

-k

coagulation

on my tongue driven
dead leaves fall on blood stained face
streets full of rain
tiny fractures
stained table cloth fingers
standing still

she hears each of his lies
she listens for his breathing
hark, the call of birds
his false shadow, painted skin
a child cries

coagulation

she stands on the edge of space

waiting/ ready to evaporate

the dead and green leaves clutter

the bubble cloud of air and water
mixed

continues for love

long lost dreams gone whispers fade
spiders spin webs lost highway
in our hearts trouble

drunken thoughts today
complicated on stained sheets

in his eyes her eyes
glowing moon
witness the lack now in bloom
thick in fog of heaven and hell
specks of love gather in a stream

life scratched from rust
each is made of dust

lost in silence
whispers fade

Whiskey midnight mayhem blues

Scorpion sting
Aborted fetus
Creation of two
Left for only one
Left for the dead
The constant playback
in my head
Of the last words ever said

A belly full of lies
a heart less and less of you
spitting words
lies spoken
you can feel the real of fake
you try to make off
try to pass off as truth
but everything fake
makes my insides
Shake shake shake

so fake it and take it
Down down down
way down
Far from you
Far from me

through a cracked mirror
images of distortion
what do you see?

through the eyes bleeding
or the eyes burning
the eyes of perception are misleading
with false beliefs and ideals
but somewhere
the truth is always there
always moving
always turning
always living

always giving it away

the truth speaks louder
than all the bullshit you say

Tonight

I wanted it
More
Than
Anything
Else
Continue reading “Tonight”

Things that happen in the night

Go Far
From
This

There is nothing
That you
Or I
Or anyone
Could say

When I hold things together
Then you are
But if I fall apart
For even a second
Then everything
Does
And

It’s hard sometimes
To be the one
To always
Not
Fall
Apart

Sometimes
I
Want to
Fall
Apart and
Have someone
Be there
To
Put me back
Together

But
I guess that’s
Just
The nature
Of the role
And my place
In life
And my purpose

But
Sometimes
I need
What I need
And I need
What I give

Like tonight

I need
It more than
I think
You will ever
Ever
Ever
Fucking know

post it note

if you spend your time trying to figure out what’s “best” for you, your choices will be cautions, your decisions will take forever, and your journey will be launched on a sea of expectations.
if you are not careful, you will drown in your expectations

playground love

love right nowyesterday is gone
and tomorrow doesn’t exist
right now is all we actually have

Tell me what i’m supposed to do,
With all these left over feelings of love;
‘Cause i like to fall into
the i don’t know
when i do
i can feel you
And tell me love how i’m supposed to feel,
When all this magic becomes too real;
cause i tend to go
to the i don’t know
when i do
i know exactly what i feel for you
And I know that you see the places inside me that I find in you,
And with you i know how to separate the old hurt from the heart;
i don’t care if we move too fast
cause i want to jump inwhile the feeling is alive
tomorrow can’t be promised
and yesterday is already gone
so right now is all that matters
and right now
all i want
is to be with you