writings – Page 7 – skin loves fever

i used to write (i’m writing now)

finding the way through fears. finding myself and the freedom that comes from knowing thy self.

i used to write
my heart out
without any doubt
without any fright
but somewhere along the heartache and years
there seems to be a build up of unsound fears
that accumulate
in a frantic state
inside an emotional ride
takes me to the other side
automatic
erratic
sick and unfit
the only way out
is to move through it

be silent and still
and in the right state of mind
i find
myself
and know myself
better than to let
any thing or anyone
get
me down –
the truth is those things don’t matter to me
i matter to me
knowing myself is what sets me free
-k.c.

the last thing i’ll ever write about you

via burning of the midnight lamp- the owl of minerva: the last thing i’ll ever write about you.

in passing through the night
through the dark
it only takes a moment for you to pull me in—
this isn’t something i asked for
or maybe i did (long ago)
but i didn’t ask for you
and i didn’t want to feel this now
i’m thrown into this
somehow
and
i feel myself falling in
falling for
i feel myself wanting more
but tonight is the end
you know-this is where i stand
with my heart in my hand….
with my soul on my sleeve
it is now time for me to leave
– all i can do
all i can say
my words – my feelings
myself
will too soon fade away
this is the last thing i will ever write about you.

-kyoko cole 2008

the ghost of my friends

This is not a prison.

This is a trap.

I am the bait.

___________________________________________________________

Having balls is a good thing
having raw passion is a good thing and a rare thing.
To have both passion AND balls is what makes someone great.
I miss the great ones

I miss the lovers
and the dreamers/creators
I miss the artists
I miss the tortured souls- the poets…the journeymen …
and I mean the real ones
the real risk takers
the real love makers
the ones that do what they were born to do
unafraid of being who they really are
the ones that live for what they love
and the ones that love to love.
it has nothing to do with image
and everything to do with heart and soul
and pure being
I miss the truth in them
I miss their passion
I miss having them around
I miss them knocking at my bedroom window at 3am
driven by desire
driven by love
and…That feeling –
that wonderful feeling of hope and wonder
and the excitement in life and love
I miss the fire

-kyoko cole 2008

in between the moon and you

we retreat now
you and i
are –
hidden.
for awhile

people in
shadows
we lay low
in the dark

can’t talk
to you
can’t talk to me
as it goes back
now

like we are
like we were
like we sometimes
always seem to do

when time trips
and slips
and fades to
and through
in front of
and
sometimes always behind
me and you

we are like the moon
in retrograde.

-kyoko cole 2013

Fire with fire

It’s okay to fall

How boring would life be without the waves?
All that really matters is if you are willing to ride it and how well you ride it

Bukowski said it better
“What matters most is how well you walk through the fire”

We are both fire
Burning ever-so-beautifully
Into the night
Into the day
And it’s always better to burn out
Than fade away ( thank you Neil young )

Tonight you leave me with a smile
And that’s pretty fucking great in my book. I love you for that.
Thank you 😉

Black Velvet Sugar

BLACK VELVET SUGAR

The soft moss swimming;
It is the dying spirit.
Desiring, I hide.
Pink shore, serene breeze.
The flat, upright sparkle shines.
Lost moon, velvet spirit.
Walk, swim. Drown
With blunt leaves
Wither, decline. With sharp flames
Write, fade: fluttering.
Purple, tender, falling,
Your eyes sits in wait
A mermaid arises,
Declining, shining.
shines on
Forever
And Forever Shines on

-Kyoko Cole

It’s better next to someone else

Sex
Kisses
Beds
Pillows
Rooms
Conversation
Love
Nights
Spent with another
Is so much better
Than any night
I Ever spent with you
Under covers
Under lovers
Under and over
Bodies
limbs
Tangled up
And wrapped up in
Each other
The feel
Of
Electric skin
We begin
As we fall
And as we sleep
Together we keep
Each other Close
Closer than I ever felt with you
Everything is better
Without you making it worse
All you fake
And
All you make up to save face
Doesn’t mean anything
Cause the real problem is you. And you don’t know you
You make the crazy come out of anyone who gets too close.

Love is loving
And life is loving again

Head through a wall

Rhapsodies in black
reality in the lowest rank
“Just love me” she said
Not
Ever

he was a man full of junk
dead love
wasted drunk

but the Static
Clinging on
Sticking to
Stuck
yuck
sucks
The living life
Right out of you
Everything happens at once
or happens for a reason
they say
who said what?
who is they? and how would they know me?
Discontents
The contents
Inside
Spilling
Outside
spills over
and 10 times
Removed
The voice and void
the Twisted twister
Dissonant
And distant
mister
you
mister who?
you i never knew

Building
Walls
Built to last?
more like
Built to destroy
Wedged Between
The good, the bad and the ugly
Misunderstood
Misreadings
everything
I see / you mean
a
Identity crisis
Stamp of impulse
take 3 steps away then
Draw
it’s gone
Before it hits the floor
Poet assassinated
Strange attractors hover
Hiding in the many
ever more

Cats in bags
Dread
Taming the gremlin
Blurred emotions
seek out
Mail order monsters
that arrive at your door

Mouth
it
out
it enters
With/without
an invitation
with / without a sound
the Devil on the stairs
is what you have found
no clear
Points of entry
only old joy
burns
but never
returns
Bad girls and and sick boys
Never odd or even
the dead

never grow old

under a Full moon
it lingers
the sight and sounds
Dead Elvis
Unplugged
the last days
of the ninth life
is it becoming real now?
what is
is now real gone.

Stained

Time press
Ink press
Pressure
press her
down
Under and pull one over on her
over head Of clouds

— Time stamp
Life stamp
tramp stamp
Stomp around
going Up and
COMING down
The disabled ramp
excuse me – i mean – the ramp for the disabled
We could be together
if we really tried
if you really wanted it to be
If you allowed it
and I would give it and you my all
If you let me

— But you won’t
And you don’t
And I’m not yours
And you are not mine
Now and
Forever always on
forever always gone

-kyoko cole

Where’s the yolk?

Eggshell egos
Eggshell ground
Eggshell walls
Seeping the sound
Of lovers
Reunited
Only to be divided
By eggshells
You can’t build
Anything made to last
Out of eggshells

-kc

nothing missing

Woke up the morning and I missed you more than ever.
Now I’m trying to put you down
Erase you
Replace you
Forget
Reject
Disinfect
Eject
You
from
me
But I know
That
it’s never quite that easy
or maybe it is
cause it is
nothing now
and so
live like it’s nothing
and love like it never was