a.d.w.a.y – (something i wrote exactly 4 years ago tonight)

a.d. w. a. y. ?

you would write a thing or two and

toss it a million ways around

the net-

-work

it’s way aross the many screens

i didn’t think twice

when it would

sometimes hit me

sometimes miss me.

but now i find myself missing you

you were lonely then

like me now

searching for something

that only exists with some people

and even some people have exhausted it

but you were sensitive like me

i could feel that between the static

i could feel that between the lies

the lies of life

we see

and run into

and

all i can think about right now

is the empty

and the space

the negative

the silent

on the memory of something

notifiations never-

tag my name now

no notes

no news

not

nothing

new

comes now

from you

you’re nowhere to be seen

please

come

back

my friend

you don’t know how much you mean

to me ūüôā

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poisoned brain

don’t want to try
to do anything different
than what hasn’t worked
a whole life time
but it’s never you

or it always you
but that’s just what you’ve expect for yourself
even though you are more than that
sometimes

but sometimes isn’t enough i guess

when you don’t see it

and when you don’t care

how can anyone else?

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Not your ex

Treat me like I am
But I’m not.
Treat me like I am
I don’t care.
And I won’t
So
I.dont
And you
Can
Do whatever you like
Say whatever you will.
Fill whatever you fill
Love somebody else
And I will do the same.
You don’t want to play this game
But you do
With
Everyone else
And I
Don’t care
As long as you are happy
I’m happy you are happy

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.

Sometimes

I will not
have you
Act like you did nothing
But be clear
About something
That was never clear
I will not
Have you
Matter to me
More than I matter to you
I will look at this
And see it for what it is
And look at you and see you for how you are
And i will remember this
And not ever be confused in thinking that your actions before were what they OBVIOUSLY are not now
Maybe someday you might see things from my side
But I don’t need to be close
To something that is so far away
To someone who closes me off
I don’t need to be anything or anyone
That means nothing
To you

i used to write (i’m writing now)

i used to write
my heart out
without any doubt
without any fright
but somewhere along the heartache and years
there seems to be a build up of unsound fears
that accumulate
in a frantic state
inside an emotional ride
takes me to the other side
automatic
erratic
sick and unfit
the only way out
is to move through it

be silent and still
and in the right state of mind
i find
myself
and know myself
better than to let
any thing or anyone
get
me down –
the truth is those things don’t matter to me
i matter to me
knowing myself is what sets me free
-k.c.

dalmur0091

in between the moon and you

we retreat now
you and i
are¬†–
hidden.
for 
awhile

people in
shadows
we lay low
in the dark

can’t talk
to you
can’t talk to me
as it goes 
back
now 

like we are
like we were
like we sometimes
always seem to do

when time trips
and slips
and fades to
and through
in front of
and
sometimes always behind
me and you

we are like the moon
in retrograde.

-kyoko cole 2013

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LPOD-Apr19-09

Black Velvet Sugar

BLACK VELVET SUGAR

The soft moss swimming;
It is the dying spirit.
Desiring, I hide.
Pink shore, serene breeze.
The flat, upright sparkle shines.
Lost moon, velvet spirit.
Walk, swim. Drown
With blunt leaves
Wither, decline. With sharp flames
Write, fade: fluttering.
Purple, tender, falling,
Your eyes sits in wait
A mermaid arises,
Declining, shining.
shines on
Forever
And Forever Shines on

-Kyoko Cole

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The unrequited love ( between two worlds)

Nothing is more dangerous than desire when it’s wrong

Play dead
To save myself

From you
Handsome devil, you

You
Who
killed me first
Inside
my head and heart
And My love
You tortured
Fucked with enough to ruin
But kept just enough alive to still keep

To have around for
whenever you damn well please
When you want or when you need me
But Only For helping you
And Never for the love of me
And when you don’t want or need me
You push me out
And down
And away
….

…Just enough…
But really not much of anything
anything that’s really real
And you are really not much of that
Or much to love now
I think I’ve reached that point
Where Giving up and going on
Are both the same dead-end to me

Play dead
For only you
And your Dead love
Will end

I hurt so completely, all I could do was laugh

 

-kyoko cole 2014

Adams for peace

“If you’re frightened of dyin and you’re holding on…Youll see devils tearing your life away.But…if youve made your peace,Then the devila are really angelsFreeing you from the earth…..from the earth….from the earth”

Tonight’s show was beautiful
But it made me realize
This whole thing isn’t for me.
I don’t belong here