creative writing – Page 7 – skin loves fever

A fight I can’t win

I used to try

But now I see

That it ain’t me

That’s the problem

And you can believe

Whatever you make up in your head

But I see

What’s actually reality

And you just don’t.

Everything you do is like toxic glue

It’s easy to stick to you

I thought you loved me too

But now I see that you don’t love me at all

Emotional abuser

Manipulator user

Narcissistic paranoid accuser

A liar

A blamer

A child

A shamer

Just a loser

Who’s gonna lose in the end

Cause you can’t grow

If you think you know

It all

But clearly you know nothing

But a bunch of bullshit

You’ve Brainwashed yourself to believe

Where is your heart?

You have no heart

No love

No care

You’re a little angry man

Unaware

Of what really matters

Unable to ever change

lonely

what good is it

if it isn’t good anymore?

what if i don’t know how to get it back to good

i don’t

depression is a mother-fucker

it’s really lonely here

and i want out

Fly by Night

You’re acting shady

Always got something better to do

And better ain’t that at all

If you fall

I won’t answer your call

Next time around

Cause you’re even more

Of what you were trying to get away from

You’re known for being that guy

Why?

Something’s up

You’re in the shade

And I’m starting to feel a bit played

Whatever it is

You always get caught up

In the Bullshit

In the next thing

Your next fling

And everything else falls down

You pick and choose what kind of person is you

And what you do

Do it without me then

I’m not sad to see you go

I sat and waited.

I love you for all the things no one else would ever love you for

I know this cause of your history

And you got a long rap sheet

Of shit

That makes it hard not to think twice

But I never did

Until

I had to

Until you were hateful

Until you made me believe

I was something

I never was

That I never could never be…

That something that maybe you were

That you still are

Or maybe it’s your greatest fear

Who knows

I don’t know

I no longer care

To try so hard to understand

And figure out

I used to care

But I can’t anymore

cause I never want to be in the hole

That you’re down in…

And I never want to love somebody so much that I forget to love myself

You made me that way

It’s not blame

I don’t blame you

I allowed it

But it is the truth

Your intentions were never good

You had bad intentions all along

You were all about what you could get out of it

Maybe not monetary things

But much deeper things that are sick and twisted

And that I could never be a part of

You have an evil way about you

No spiritual person

No person in tune or “zen”

Could ever have
You are not above it

You are below it.

And i still have love for you

Cause I hope that someday you will learn to love

But it won’t be with me

And I don’t think it will be in my lifetime

And I no longer care to see it or know it or know you

You have taught me that some people don’t have love in them

Like I do. Naturally

I tried to give it

I tried to show it

But some people no matter how much you try

Don’t care to see

Cannot see

And I can’t care to change what I cannot change

Goodbye to you

For now I’m finally glad to see you go

Amateurs (don’t take things or this so seriously)

thirteen ways to kill your lover
a hundred and one ways to die

Thirteen ways

To kill your lover

A hundred and one ways to die

It pays

To be

Cemented in your ways

Or does is pay to be

Wild in the streets

Like a wild card

Jump up jump around
New York girls

Are too hip

As they hop

To the top

of the Empire state building

Which I don’t care to ever climb

A Hot house
As Cold

As your unbearable heart

Finish what you start, you say

As everything slowly starts to shift

Deterioration, they said

Right before it was dead

It was everything that ever was

That is not a thing any more

That couple over there

Kindly lent their owner

To the dogs

Frequencies are
Less frequently

Felt in the air

The less we care

The more we

Dread

The dead

That’s a coming

Round the bend

So buckle up partner

It’s coming to the end

The perfect partner

Of An imperfect pair

Doesn’t dare

Taunt

The electronic wizard

The human lizard

But will haunt

The Spirit hunter

And the Catholic priest

Who will soon sit down

For the mighty feast

And break some bread

And both get fed

The last supper

Is a coming soon

Blasted allegories
Blast past noon

You are Not there

In the making

the making that never was

Was never there within you

Take me to the river

Drown me in the water

Let it cover me up

And Let my body sink low

The more you say

The less you know

Misleading

Misreadings

Draw on you now

Like the raise of an arm

And the hand that signals the alarm

To wake up

Wake up

WAKE THE FUCK UP

Before it’s too late

wait it already is …

-kyoko cole 2017

Stop pulling at my heart strings

I don’t know

If you know anything

More than what you think

You know

When you think

You know

But that changes

Like you change

As quickly

As you change

I rearrange

The feelings in my heart

And the thoughts in my head

About you

Can’t stick it down with glue

Cause I know tomorrow

It’s gonna be something new

And the minute I think

That everything’s in sync

I get knocked down out of the blue

Like I never knew you too

Like everything I Thought

Was in

You suddenly undo

And to stop me from breaking in two

I have to separate

And sedate

The state

Of me

I’m in
-kyoko cole

2017

Happy birthday to me?

Another year

And I really begin

To realize

To see

With my eyes open

! My Self awake

That I cannot begin

To make

A life of anything

Going anywhere

In a place full of nothing

And no one who cares

To be something

Better

Better than they become

After years of booze

And a lifetime of use

One Can’t become anyone

Stay the same

And all you breathe is to die

Never want change

Then you can’t wonder why

Skin

Static between my ears

Poker face

To make you chase

something else. that isn’t there

I do what I do

To throw you off

To throw you in

The opposite direction

To minimize detection

To eliminate inspection

One hell of a night

After all is said and done

You’re the only one…

For me 🙂

Bullshit

You wanna trash this?

You want me to hate you cause you’re still you

You might have quit the booze and the drugs

But you ain’t got much to show for it

With a mouth like yours

Why would anybody stick around?

You’re too much

Too little

Too soon

Too late

Too fucking annoying.

I don’t care to care to make it right

Cause I can’t make you right

When you think you do no wrong

Spit your nasty shit at some other girl

Try and change someone else to be a necrotic jealous angry control freak like you.

Cause it ain’t me babe

It ain’t me

Not good enough for me.

You bring me down and i don’t really care about how you feel when you make me feel like shit

It’s time for me to quit

This bullshit

And not even think of you.

As anything worth my time

Cause you’re not

And i’m just tired of you

And everything you’re about

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