bsidejunkie – Page 15 – skin loves fever

Dumb some

Sit down stale
silence between
The artificial illuminations
That fill your screen
Smoke in mirrors
Eyes unclean

Eyes unseen

Restless in waiting
For the never ever

Never

ever

to come

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

by kyoko cole

Skin

Static between my ears

Poker face

To make you chase

something else. that isn’t there

I do what I do

To throw you off

To throw you in

The opposite direction

To minimize detection

To eliminate inspection

One hell of a night

After all is said and done

You’re the only one…

For me 🙂

Bullshit

You wanna trash this?

You want me to hate you cause you’re still you

You might have quit the booze and the drugs

But you ain’t got much to show for it

With a mouth like yours

Why would anybody stick around?

You’re too much

Too little

Too soon

Too late

Too fucking annoying.

I don’t care to care to make it right

Cause I can’t make you right

When you think you do no wrong

Spit your nasty shit at some other girl

Try and change someone else to be a necrotic jealous angry control freak like you.

Cause it ain’t me babe

It ain’t me

but he can’t be a man cause he doesn’t smoke the same cigarettes as me

walking through the store
couldn’t carry anymore
couldn’t care any less
as i do right now

in some other life
i took a knife
and carved 2 names on a tree

To preserve the time of we

Many moons ago when it was just you and me

And the cats

To see the names and remember the life

We lived long before this

And remember the love

We both miss

Over a life time ago

We knew someday we would meet again

there’s no other way
and no other day
to say
goodbye
all the things
i would, would not
and could never say
but now i need to go away
i really did try
day after day
just to get by
some things are for letting go
some things we must learn to let die

cool story bro’ (ha)

talk it up big
like it’s something great
i don’t hate
just to hate
when something’s good
to appreciate

but it’s not
even
close
bro

you got a lot
that’s not
real
and a lot more
That you steal
but you keep it up
to keep the crowds appeal

Cool story bro
And man you’ve got stories to tell
As you only talk about yourself up
you sell yourself well
To the people who don’t know you
But for me to see
You do what you to
Is fucking hell
All the names you drop
And you never stop
As you climb your stupid self
To what you think is the top
Of the shit pile
Meanwhile
You Keep on playing it off
Keep on playing it cool
play it dumb
Play it down
Bro
Cause you are such a tool
And a fool
Bro
You are
Bro
Just that bro
In hollyweird
Hollywood
That everyone encounters
But no one wants to know

Cut #5423

Whatever is right or wrong
There is no right or wrong of that
Way back when
You can’t rehash over shit that is so far gone in days
And so far drunk is haze
That memory does nothing
To separate the days
And fact becomes fiction.
fiction becomes fable
And You and i
are not very able
To bring any good out of that
Which is not
That important
when it comes down to the grind
When we fight about past shit
I start to fucking lose my mind
And it brings me back to a time
I can’t comprehend
And all I want is for this to end
Please end
The only way to get over something is to get yourself through
The thing that most of us forever avoid
And after cut #5423
And maybe a half
I can only just sit back
Look at at what I’ve done to myself (again) and laugh
Not funny ha ha
Not funny hee hee
But not ever quite sane
Stuck in a loop
Of wax and wane
Over and over and over again

How many scars do I have to gain?
To see how much of myself I’ve lost.
At such a cost
All because of me
All because of we and me.

The bathroom Is no longer my safe place
Anymore
I guess it never really was before
Just cause I could lock the door
Doesn’t mean u could get out
Not something safe.
And neither are any of you

a.d.w.a.y – (something i wrote exactly 4 years ago tonight)

a.d. w. a. y. ?

August 4, 2011 at 4:24am

you would write a thing or two and

toss it a million ways around

the net-

-work

it’s way aross the many screens

i didn’t think twice

when it would

sometimes hit me

sometimes miss me.

but now i find myself missing you

you were lonely then

like me now

searching for something

that only exists with some people

and even some people have exhausted it

but you were sensitive like me

i could feel that between the static

i could feel that between the lies

the lies of life

we see

and run into

and

all i can think about right now

is the empty

and the space

the negative

the silent

on the memory of something

notifiations never-

tag my name now

no notes

no news

not

nothing

new

comes now

from you

you’re nowhere to be seen

please

come

back

my friend

you don’t know how much you mean

…

to me 🙂

poisoned brain

don’t want to try
to do anything different
than what hasn’t worked
a whole life time
but it’s never you

or it always you
but that’s just what you’ve expect for yourself
even though you are more than that
sometimes

but sometimes isn’t enough i guess

when you don’t see it

and when you don’t care

how can anyone else?

It’s not my time or maybe it’s exactly that

I might have let it get to me
What I feel
What I see
What is what
What is not
I don’t know
What is real
i don’t know
much of what is
other than
what i feel
And what’s really to be
What you
do
and
do not
show
And what all is
left over
Rinsed out
the residue
Really has got a hold of me
For the time being
for now
but
Not forever
The hazy
Dazy
Lazy
crazy
Glue
of me
But nothing
ever sticks to you
All that is
or isn’t
ever true
with you
You can quickly cut
You can easily undo
as i struggle to make my way through
…
it all..
From a reaction
without any
satisfaction

What it is
what isn’t
and what it never was
and what it will never be
as anger grows
and confusion shows
only breeds
more negativity
and nothing more
out of nothing less
with less and less humility
Tear down everything
Instead of build up
now lost
as
we lose
No trying
to understand
No one
to hold my hand
lack of care
Lack of love
i ask for a miracle
or something more
from up above