thoughts – Page 3 – skin loves fever

there’s no other way

there’s no other way
and no other day
to say
goodbye
all the things
i would, would not
and could never say
but now i need to go away
i really did try
day after day
just to get by
some things are for letting go
some things we must learn to let die

cool story bro’ (ha)

talk it up big
like it’s something great
i don’t hate
just to hate
when something’s good
to appreciate

but it’s not
even
close
bro

you got a lot
that’s not
real
and a lot more
That you steal
but you keep it up
to keep the crowds appeal

Cool story bro
And man you’ve got stories to tell
As you only talk about yourself up
you sell yourself well
To the people who don’t know you
But for me to see
You do what you to
Is fucking hell
All the names you drop
And you never stop
As you climb your stupid self
To what you think is the top
Of the shit pile
Meanwhile
You Keep on playing it off
Keep on playing it cool
play it dumb
Play it down
Bro
Cause you are such a tool
And a fool
Bro
You are
Bro
Just that bro
In hollyweird
Hollywood
That everyone encounters
But no one wants to know

Cut #5423

Whatever is right or wrong
There is no right or wrong of that
Way back when
You can’t rehash over shit that is so far gone in days
And so far drunk is haze
That memory does nothing
To separate the days
And fact becomes fiction.
fiction becomes fable
And You and i
are not very able
To bring any good out of that
Which is not
That important
when it comes down to the grind
When we fight about past shit
I start to fucking lose my mind
And it brings me back to a time
I can’t comprehend
And all I want is for this to end
Please end
The only way to get over something is to get yourself through
The thing that most of us forever avoid
And after cut #5423
And maybe a half
I can only just sit back
Look at at what I’ve done to myself (again) and laugh
Not funny ha ha
Not funny hee hee
But not ever quite sane
Stuck in a loop
Of wax and wane
Over and over and over again

How many scars do I have to gain?
To see how much of myself I’ve lost.
At such a cost
All because of me
All because of we and me.

The bathroom Is no longer my safe place
Anymore
I guess it never really was before
Just cause I could lock the door
Doesn’t mean u could get out
Not something safe.
And neither are any of you

selfish selfish little man

He follows
He creeps
He reaps
What is mine
He takes every inch
Every chance he gets
And makes his opinion
Get all over me
He abuses the right
Of something free
he over steps lines
And stomps ALL over me
He has no regard
No care
No respect
No grace
He needs a good punch
in the face
To shut him up
to shut him out
to dismiss
Anything he has to say
When it comes to what
I feel
or think
or write
he has no insight
AT ALL

NO UNDERSTADING
NO AWARENESS
WHAT-SO-EVER
NOT AT ALL

He’S always got some stupid comment
something stupid to say in return
some dumb remark
He loves to double park
in my creative space
he oversteps and intrudes all over the place
He’s a troll
on a roll
on blast
too fast
everything he says
goes quickly past
my ears
my heart
without any boundaries
he stomps all over
and cramps within
He invades what is mine
so he can begin

selfish selfish
little man
you
do nothing
but do
for only you

-kc 2015

It’s not my time or maybe it’s exactly that

I might have let it get to me
What I feel
What I see
What is what
What is not
I don’t know
What is real
i don’t know
much of what is
other than
what i feel
And what’s really to be
What you
do
and
do not
show
And what all is
left over
Rinsed out
the residue
Really has got a hold of me
For the time being
for now
but
Not forever
The hazy
Dazy
Lazy
crazy
Glue
of me
But nothing
ever sticks to you
All that is
or isn’t
ever true
with you
You can quickly cut
You can easily undo
as i struggle to make my way through
…
it all..
From a reaction
without any
satisfaction

What it is
what isn’t
and what it never was
and what it will never be
as anger grows
and confusion shows
only breeds
more negativity
and nothing more
out of nothing less
with less and less humility
Tear down everything
Instead of build up
now lost
as
we lose
No trying
to understand
No one
to hold my hand
lack of care
Lack of love
i ask for a miracle
or something more
from up above

i don’t know the name
it all starts to become the same

as everything before
until there is no more

we all lose ourselves out there somewhere
but where are you …???
and where am i???

20 years have gone by too soon
come back down
to this place
underneath the timeless moon

Sometimes

I will not
have you
Act like you did nothing
But be clear
About something
That was never clear
I will not
Have you
Matter to me
More than I matter to you
I will look at this
And see it for what it is
And look at you and see you for how you are
And i will remember this
And not ever be confused in thinking that your actions before were what they OBVIOUSLY are not now
Maybe someday you might see things from my side
But I don’t need to be close
To something that is so far away
To someone who closes me off
I don’t need to be anything or anyone
That means nothing
To you

Things we say

Running around in circles
Just like the rat
Saying
“I don’t need this”
And
“I don’t need that”
caught in a loop
That’s Caught in a cage
Spinning Round like a hula hoop
With a great full of rage

What you get
And what you expect
Is way too much
For as much as you
let
Down

but it’s exactly what you need
And it’s exactly what you seed
Out to the world
And all the people you meet
What you get is what you need
Even if you think you don’t

Walk, swim. With blunt leaves
Wither, decline. With sharp flames
Write, fade: fluttering.
Purple, tender, falling,
Your eyes sits. A mermaid arises,
Declining, shining, I fall

deep within and go far away…

-kyoko cole 2013