broken – skin loves fever

split hit

hurt becomes normal
no one notices
you can feel yourself start to fade away
no grace
stuck in a place
you can’t escape
loose words
lose meaning
hurt becomes normal
you can’t kill what is already dead
and he can’t take back
what he fails to see
and all the ugly deeds and hurtful words he said
just like grandpa
who confused your little head
with words that don’t match actions
when the line becomes too blurred
knowing wrong
but told it’s right
being sold as gold
until one day you’re old
and filled with fright
no one to trust
no one who understands your everlasting struggle
no one understands your daily fight
silenced
into solitude
made to feel stupid
grayed out until you’ve so pushed down
with only vampires and clowns
all around
you lose yourself
and don’t want to be found
it’s not worth it
nothing is worth it
and
you used to have light
you used to have light….

it’s all gone.

Irish goodbye – post 1 of 2

waiting out the days

Don’t want to scream and shout
but I can’t seem to figure it out
I feel like half a person
a big hole in soul
a big hole in my heart
when I reach out to you
you just tear me more apart

and I wish I was better
maybe better off dead
I let myself go through it
be in it
just to get you out of my head.

it’s so easy for you to be mean
hide behind your smoke screen
if you ever loved me
if you ever cared
I can’t tell
I’m not well
you love seeing me down
you love putting me through hell

and I wish I was happy
maybe I’d be better off dead
I have to get through this
be in this
just to shed you from my head

I know things will get easier
time heals
or so they say
but right now
I’m all kinds of broken
-just waiting out the days

until I’m okay again

Photo by Tuesday Temptation on Pexels.com

Above is a great journal to help you get through a breakup. Sometimes keeping a record of how you feel and what you’re going through day by day can help you better understand yourself and be more self-aware. It also can help you be aware of unhealthy patterns and habits.

what a mess

you can be mad
misunderstand me
think that I’m bad
but I’m just here
alone and sad
if you could only see
what you meant to me

I need something good
to get me out of this funk
to show me that I could
have a good life
have a good day
remember why I’m here
help me find my way

cause being alone
is wrecking my mind
if you see me
please be kind

…. ugh

An itch

He’s got an itch

To turn the switch

In the snap of a finger

He’s a dead ringer

For Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide

Which side?

Is he gonna be on now?

Watch what you say…

And you better obey !!!

cause it’s only his way or the highway

he refuses
to meet halfway

I can only care so much

And…
i Can’t get too close
cause it’s the ones who are close

That he likes to hurt the most

-kyoko cole 2017

Amateurs (don’t take things or this so seriously)

thirteen ways to kill your lover
a hundred and one ways to die

Thirteen ways

To kill your lover

A hundred and one ways to die

It pays

To be

Cemented in your ways

Or does is pay to be

Wild in the streets

Like a wild card

Jump up jump around
New York girls

Are too hip

As they hop

To the top

of the Empire state building

Which I don’t care to ever climb

A Hot house
As Cold

As your unbearable heart

Finish what you start, you say

As everything slowly starts to shift

Deterioration, they said

Right before it was dead

It was everything that ever was

That is not a thing any more

That couple over there

Kindly lent their owner

To the dogs

Frequencies are
Less frequently

Felt in the air

The less we care

The more we

Dread

The dead

That’s a coming

Round the bend

So buckle up partner

It’s coming to the end

The perfect partner

Of An imperfect pair

Doesn’t dare

Taunt

The electronic wizard

The human lizard

But will haunt

The Spirit hunter

And the Catholic priest

Who will soon sit down

For the mighty feast

And break some bread

And both get fed

The last supper

Is a coming soon

Blasted allegories
Blast past noon

You are Not there

In the making

the making that never was

Was never there within you

Take me to the river

Drown me in the water

Let it cover me up

And Let my body sink low

The more you say

The less you know

Misleading

Misreadings

Draw on you now

Like the raise of an arm

And the hand that signals the alarm

To wake up

Wake up

WAKE THE FUCK UP

Before it’s too late

wait it already is …

-kyoko cole 2017

there’s no other way

there’s no other way
and no other day
to say
goodbye
all the things
i would, would not
and could never say
but now i need to go away
i really did try
day after day
just to get by
some things are for letting go
some things we must learn to let die

Cut #5423

Whatever is right or wrong
There is no right or wrong of that
Way back when
You can’t rehash over shit that is so far gone in days
And so far drunk is haze
That memory does nothing
To separate the days
And fact becomes fiction.
fiction becomes fable
And You and i
are not very able
To bring any good out of that
Which is not
That important
when it comes down to the grind
When we fight about past shit
I start to fucking lose my mind
And it brings me back to a time
I can’t comprehend
And all I want is for this to end
Please end
The only way to get over something is to get yourself through
The thing that most of us forever avoid
And after cut #5423
And maybe a half
I can only just sit back
Look at at what I’ve done to myself (again) and laugh
Not funny ha ha
Not funny hee hee
But not ever quite sane
Stuck in a loop
Of wax and wane
Over and over and over again

How many scars do I have to gain?
To see how much of myself I’ve lost.
At such a cost
All because of me
All because of we and me.

The bathroom Is no longer my safe place
Anymore
I guess it never really was before
Just cause I could lock the door
Doesn’t mean u could get out
Not something safe.
And neither are any of you

Sometimes

I will not
have you
Act like you did nothing
But be clear
About something
That was never clear
I will not
Have you
Matter to me
More than I matter to you
I will look at this
And see it for what it is
And look at you and see you for how you are
And i will remember this
And not ever be confused in thinking that your actions before were what they OBVIOUSLY are not now
Maybe someday you might see things from my side
But I don’t need to be close
To something that is so far away
To someone who closes me off
I don’t need to be anything or anyone
That means nothing
To you